Cast and Marriage

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SohniKuddi

Age: 121
Total Posts: 4493
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Pakistan, Pakistan
Salaam....well this topic is about marriage and how different casts prefer not to give and take rishte from people from "Inferior" casts, I myself think that this is a load of rubbish, you should be able to marry whoever you want regardless of what their ancestors did.

A friend of mine was seeing this guy, they went out for a long time, my friends family were a bit strict, their relationship was a secret for some time, they decided they wanted to marry, but her parents did not want her marrying this guy...why? because his cast was inferior, she was some sort of raja and he was some...erm i dunno how to pronounce it so i'll leave to "he was of inferior cast" people of higher cast tend to look down on others of lower cast, this is condemning that people in this century still belive in casts, and still look at a persons cast before getting their children married. Well, she can no longer see him, and her parents are looking for a "higher cast" husband for her. So what do you guys think?
Posted 04 Jun 2005

Bazigaar says
i think it;s all "BS"...

reason? only one...God created us all equals..ye cast system we humans made it...so when God didn;t descriminate between us humans then why should we descriminate other casts when giving rishta
Posted 04 Jun 2005

well they just look at cast....comeon think abt her life..she has to spent
Posted 04 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
EXACTLY..........BUT PPL DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY
Posted 04 Jun 2005

Bazigaar says
shahrukh khan said:

well they just look at cast....comeon think abt her life..she has to spent



would u rather marry a girl in high cast where guy is drunk, abussive, ggresuve, got no respect for no one...or would u rather marry a girl in low cast with nice and shareef guy who is caring and respectful? is money everything?
Posted 04 Jun 2005

arey yaar parents just see casts,,,,nothing else...larkay ko is khandaan se hona chhaiyey,,,family main ho...bas...shadi...family wale agge se kharab....now...larki ki zindagi ho gayee kharab
Posted 04 Jun 2005

Bazigaar says
shahrukh khan said:

arey yaar parents just see casts,,,,nothing else...larkay ko is khandaan se hona chhaiyey,,,family main ho...bas...shadi...family wale agge se kharab....now...larki ki zindagi ho gayee kharab



where i got my nikah... ...her dad never asked where i work, what do i study or my education...all he wanted to know was bout my character and if i am a nice guy and in-touch with religion...dat's all... ()i was susprised )
Posted 04 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
NO WAY, U SHOULD ONLY LOOK TO SEE IF THEY ARE MUSLIM, NOT CAST A PERSONS RELIGION FIRST, THEN ALL OTHER ASPECTS AND CAST SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN ISSUE AS LONG AS SHE IS HAPPY, I MEAN SHE REALLY LOVED THIS GUY, N HE WAS A DECENT GUY, SHE WAS SOOO SURE HER DAD WOULD APPROVE, BUT HE DIDN'T, I'M NOT SURE WHETHER IT WAS BACAUSE OF HIS CAST OR HE JUST FELT LIKE IT, IT WAS PROBABLY A DIGNITY THING U KNOW (HUMARI BETI HUMEIN MOOHN DEKHANE K LAYEK NAHI NAHIN RAKHA)OR HE WANTED HER 2 MARRY BAK HOME OR IN THE FAMILY
Posted 04 Jun 2005

yaar unse poocho jin ke saath hota hai,,,,
Posted 04 Jun 2005

Bazigaar says
SohniKuddi said:

NO WAY, U SHOULD ONLY LOOK TO SEE IF THEY ARE MUSLIM, NOT CAST A PERSONS RELIGION FIRST, THEN ALL OTHER ASPECTS AND CAST SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN ISSUE AS LONG AS SHE IS HAPPY, I MEAN SHE REALLY LOVED THIS GUY, N HE WAS A DECENT GUY, SHE WAS SOOO SURE HER DAD WOULD APPROVE, BUT HE DIDN'T, I'M NOT SURE WHETHER IT WAS BACAUSE OF HIS CAST OR HE JUST FELT LIKE IT, IT WAS PROBABLY A DIGNITY THING U KNOW (HUMARI BETI HUMEIN MOOHN DEKHANE K LAYEK NAHI NAHIN RAKHA)OR HE WANTED HER 2 MARRY BAK HOME OR IN THE FAMILY



yes, but as a muslim...we can actually marry any ehl-e-kitan ...which is muslims, christians and jews
Posted 04 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
REALLY? SEE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT
Posted 04 Jun 2005

Bazigaar says
SohniKuddi said:

REALLY? SEE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT



well, now u know
Posted 04 Jun 2005

Ashii says
1st reason, pakis bewakoof hote hein
2nd, magroor/complexed hote hein
3rd, lalchi hote hein

that s y they look for someone rich, belonging to a "higher" cast, without thinking abt reasons or conseq

Islam mei sirf mo'min hona shart hai
aur jiss baat ka khyal rakha jae woh hai k ache mard k liye achi aurtein,,
that s it,,,,
ehl e kitab wali baat sahi bhi hai aur galt bhi
we had a topic abt it in religion and for the first time mujhe iss ka reason samajh aaya aur conditions bhi
Posted 04 Jun 2005

Bazigaar says
SALL said:

ehl e kitab wali baat sahi bhi hai aur galt bhi
we had a topic abt it in religion and for the first time mujhe iss ka reason samajh aaya aur conditions bhi



i would like to know what u think is wrong
Posted 04 Jun 2005

Ashii says
bazu yarr,, tang na kar
galt woh conditions hein jinn mei aaj kal ehl e kitab se shadi ki jati hai
exactly like 4 shadi jaiz hai par sirf tab jab conditions poori ki ja'ain


religion mei khud dhoondo topic
Posted 04 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
Bazigaar said:

SohniKuddi said:

NO WAY, U SHOULD ONLY LOOK TO SEE IF THEY ARE MUSLIM, NOT CAST A PERSONS RELIGION FIRST, THEN ALL OTHER ASPECTS AND CAST SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN ISSUE AS LONG AS SHE IS HAPPY, I MEAN SHE REALLY LOVED THIS GUY, N HE WAS A DECENT GUY, SHE WAS SOOO SURE HER DAD WOULD APPROVE, BUT HE DIDN'T, I'M NOT SURE WHETHER IT WAS BACAUSE OF HIS CAST OR HE JUST FELT LIKE IT, IT WAS PROBABLY A DIGNITY THING U KNOW (HUMARI BETI HUMEIN MOOHN DEKHANE K LAYEK NAHI NAHIN RAKHA)OR HE WANTED HER 2 MARRY BAK HOME OR IN THE FAMILY



yes, but as a muslim...we can actually marry any ehl-e-kitan ...which is muslims, christians and jews


BUT ISN'T THAT MUSLIM MEN AND NOT WOMEN WHO CAN MARRY ANY OF THE PEOPLE OF THE BOOK? COS M SURE I WAS TOLD THIS...THE MAIN PURPOSE WOULD BE TO SPREAD ISLAM, AND IF A WOMAN MARRIES OUTSIDE ISLAM, THIS WOULD DO NOTHING FOR THE SPREAD OF OUR RELIGION.

SO WHAT WAS THAT TOPIC IN RELIGION CALLED?
Posted 04 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
SALL said:

1st reason, pakis bewakoof hote hein
2nd, magroor/complexed hote hein
3rd, lalchi hote hein

that s y they look for someone rich, belonging to a "higher" cast, without thinking abt reasons or conseq

Islam mei sirf mo'min hona shart hai
aur jiss baat ka khyal rakha jae woh hai k ache mard k liye achi aurtein,,
that s it,,,,
ehl e kitab wali baat sahi bhi hai aur galt bhi
we had a topic abt it in religion and for the first time mujhe iss ka reason samajh aaya aur conditions bhi




AGREE
Posted 04 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
Posted 05 Jun 2005

Our beloved prophet set for us a very golden principle of being realistic and balanced. He stated four reasons for a man to marry a woman; Her beauty, her richness, her lineage, and her practice of religion. All reasons are valid and permissible but the most preferable is marrying someone for her devotion and practice of religion. This applies to women also. Remember the choice is always of the one who is getting married.

In Paki society, people are on extreme ends. Parents think they can make best choices for children and children think parents are oppressive and they can make their decisions in their own best interest.
In the materialist society, parents think and believe that their children's future is protected by wealth and material only. Children, on the other hand believe that just love between the two is enough to live happily.

Lost are both sides to the temptations and whims. It is the combination of both that makes life pleasant and joyful. There were companions of prophet whose wives and children will see their husband / father off every morning with a reminder that we can survive will little provisions so don't earn anything haram. We will be patient with whatever little we get.

We dropped the ball somewhere. We have lost the belief that their is only one gaurantee of provisions, happiness, love and joy, i.e our Lord and Creator. It is His glorious attribute that He joins the heart and creates affection between them and bestows provisions to its creations.
Posted 05 Jun 2005

For marriages with people of the book, its only permissible to men of faith with women of the people of the book who are chaste and practising their religion.
Posted 05 Jun 2005

BadShaH1 says

main thing is, i dont believe in it, u dont belive in it
dats fine wid both of us!
Posted 05 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi said:

Bazigaar said:

SohniKuddi said:

NO WAY, U SHOULD ONLY LOOK TO SEE IF THEY ARE MUSLIM, NOT CAST A PERSONS RELIGION FIRST, THEN ALL OTHER ASPECTS AND CAST SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN ISSUE AS LONG AS SHE IS HAPPY, I MEAN SHE REALLY LOVED THIS GUY, N HE WAS A DECENT GUY, SHE WAS SOOO SURE HER DAD WOULD APPROVE, BUT HE DIDN'T, I'M NOT SURE WHETHER IT WAS BACAUSE OF HIS CAST OR HE JUST FELT LIKE IT, IT WAS PROBABLY A DIGNITY THING U KNOW (HUMARI BETI HUMEIN MOOHN DEKHANE K LAYEK NAHI NAHIN RAKHA)OR HE WANTED HER 2 MARRY BAK HOME OR IN THE FAMILY



yes, but as a muslim...we can actually marry any ehl-e-kitan ...which is muslims, christians and jews


BUT ISN'T THAT MUSLIM MEN AND NOT WOMEN WHO CAN MARRY ANY OF THE PEOPLE OF THE BOOK? COS M SURE I WAS TOLD THIS...THE MAIN PURPOSE WOULD BE TO SPREAD ISLAM, AND IF A WOMAN MARRIES OUTSIDE ISLAM, THIS WOULD DO NOTHING FOR THE SPREAD OF OUR RELIGION.

SO WHAT WAS THAT TOPIC IN RELIGION CALLED?


A man can marry muslim,christan,jews woman
Posted 05 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
Smooth_daddy said:

For marriages with people of the book, its only permissible to men of faith with women of the people of the book who are chaste and practising their religion.



YEAH THATS WHAT I WAS TOLD
AGREE SRK
Posted 05 Jun 2005

BadShaH1 said:

main thing is, i dont believe in it, u dont belive in it
dats fine wid both of us!



are you refering to marrying among people of the book or are you pointing at the question in the topic title?
Posted 06 Jun 2005

Smooth_daddy said:

For marriages with people of the book, its only permissible to men of faith with women of the people of the book who are chaste and practising their religion.



right
Posted 06 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
I'M NOT SURE IF YOU WATCH GEO TV OR VECTONE URDU, COS THERE ARE MATCH MAKING PROGRAMS, WHERE PEOPLE SEND INFORMATION ABOUT THEMSELVES TO FIND A SUITABLE RISHTA...ON GEO THIS PROGRAM IS CALLED "SHADI ONLINE" AND ON VECTONE URDU IT'S CALLED "JEEVAN SAATHI"...WELL WHEN PEOPLE CALL IN AND SHOW DETAILS POF THEMESELVES OR SOMEONE THEY WANT A RISHTA FOR THE ISSUE OF CAST ALWAYS COMES UP, PEOPLE TEND TO ADD THAT THE WANT A RISHTA FROM THE SAME CAST AS THEY ARE, THEIR REASONS TEND TO BE BECAUSE "LOG TAHNE DETE HAIN, KHAAS KAR FAMILY WALE, KEHTE HAIN APNI CAST SE AUR KOI NAHIN MILA AUR GHATTIYA LOGON MEIN SE RISHTA KAR/DE DIYA"

CAST IS A MAIN SEARCH CRITERIA IN THESE PROGRAMS, THE WOMAN WHO PRESENTS IT ALWAYS ASKS THE PEOPLE RINGING IN WHETHER THEY WOULD MIND ABOUT CAST, THE ANSWER IN MOST CASES IS YES. MOST OF THE RISHTE ARE FROM PAKISTAN LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND/WIFE AS A BRITHISH NATIONAL WHO IS HIGHLY EDUCATED, WHATS WRONG WITH A HIGHLY EDUCATED PAKISTANI RISHTA?

NEWAYS U GUYS ARE PROBABLY WANDERING WHAT I WAS DOING WATCHING THESE PROGRAMS I JUST HAPPENED TO BE FLIKING THROUGH THE CHANNELS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO BE ON, SO DON'T BE SCARED I WASN'T WATCHING IT FOR BUSINESS
Posted 06 Jun 2005

you have 3 smilies in your post, that's a dangerous thing to do on this forum. i will therefore

Ignorance is the enemy of mankind. Education given to reinforce ignorance causes twice as damage. Education doesn't happen in classrooms only, it mostly happen outside of it, especially social and cultural grooming. Educated people who can't reason and act with wisdom are still ignorant. There's a vast difference in education and training. Appropriately trained persons'understand what is being given to them and their actions and performances are committed to their learnings.
Posted 07 Jun 2005

SohniKuddi says
I DON'T SEE WHAT THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE TOPIC IN QUESTION

IS THERE A LIMIT TO HOW MANY SMILIES YOU CAN HAVE IN 1 POST?
Posted 07 Jun 2005

guest. says
nops!
off topic replies r not allowed!
bt ur post is somewht related to the topic!

SD!..its not the emoticons!..its the context !


hve fun posting guyz!
Posted 07 Jun 2005

yaar cast is important than a life for parents
Posted 07 Jun 2005

just joking S-Kuddi
oops laughed again !!

Parents don't see it from that stand point. In their mind they are covering all bases - norms, society, family, religion ... most of which are self-imposed.

Kids (not all) on the other hand are only driven by emotion and underate experience of their parents. When parents and kids enjoy communication, understanding and mutual trust between them, most important decisions of life can be made without serious complications.
Posted 07 Jun 2005

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