LoW SeLf EsTeeM

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LiL_DollY

Age: 121
Total Posts: 13322
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United States, United States
There are alot of reasons why a person can have low self esteem. But here I want to speak about an experince tha ti have been having lately with someone I know.

Well I have my ears peirced twice on each side. ANd I have to wear real gold cause other wise my ears get messed up.

I was at someones house. (this someone is very close to me through relationship. And she's older). She looked at my earrings and said to me..."oh you got new earring...in a serious and sarcastic way. But I dont like them. WHy did you get such a old fashion."

I simply told her, "I dont know whats new and old fashion in jewlery. I bought them cause I liked them."


Ok everytime I go to her house. She says something to put me down. Or make me me feel bad in some way. She's constantly picking on me.

And I know she does it to make herself feel better. Therefore, she has low self esteem.

I just want to know...what do you guys so when someone puts you down like that?
Posted 05 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
See...Im not the type of person to tell a person that hey...I dont like that of yours.

I simply compliment the person. If I dont have anything nice to say...I dont say it.

This lady...Im speaking about...does anythign to get attention. I understand she was the only daughter before she got married. And she likes to be the center of attnetion. And if she's not she redirects everyones attention by saying or doing something.

helllpppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posted 05 Jul 2005

That someone is then not close to you!
But if you care alot about her, then tell her how you feel about her attitude and how it hurts. Good friends correct errors of their friends. You don't have to be aggressive but you must be assertive and polite with her.

She seeks attention and she gets it stepping over others. Well, if she loves attention more than her friends then let her choose one unless she can strike a balance.

She won't like be ignored at all and that's your next step to let her taste her own medicine.
Posted 06 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
umm...shes family...Mr. Smooth

you think I should still do the same

and shes like 9 years older than me.
Posted 06 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
But how long can I ignore her

according to hadith

Muslim Bro & Sis's arent suppose to be upset with each other for 3 days...

she's a elder...

Posted 06 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY said:

But how long can I ignore her

according to hadith

Muslim Bro & Sis's arent suppose to be upset with each other for 3 days...

she's a elder...



RIGHT they get upset for years
Posted 06 Jul 2005

Hey that's the advantage of being raised in the west. You can be straight and direct in this society. What you don't want is any confrontation. Present your concern and hurt to her in confidence. Such that she feels important just the way she likes it.

The hadeeth is about not talking to one another for more than three days. That doesn't mean it can happen only once in a life time with the same person.

I am not suggesting to sever relations or to stop seeing her. All I am suggesting is that you don't play a role in making her the center of interest.

I hope I am making myself clear.
Posted 06 Jul 2005

Bazigaar says
got high self-esteem here...and don;t really care bou6t anyone who got low self-esteem..it;s their business
Posted 06 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
lol bazi

sighing...

Yeah...Mr. Smooth I get your point. I understand. I'll keep it in mind.

I just gotta quit taken her abuse and stand up to her within my limits and confront her. Thxz.
Posted 06 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
Bazigaar said:

got high self-esteem here...and don;t really care bou6t anyone who got low self-esteem..it;s their business



Your not born with high self esteem
you develop it over time..
starts when your a baby
and upto childhood
teeange years
and then adulthood

and paretns play a major part in developing your childs self-esteem.

Some children who also have been abused...(3 differetn ways of being abused) Have low-self-esteem.

just wanted to let you know bazi.

After all your a father too.
Posted 06 Jul 2005

Bazigaar says
let's put it this way...i was born with high self-esteem...maybe graudually developed it higher and higher but have never felt low ever

about abuse, i know kids can have high self esteem even after abuse too...
Posted 06 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
No Bazi
your wrong

Abused children dont have hihg self esteem
Unless they got help form someone they are about
or a counselor or something.

Abused children never forget what happened to them. It sticks to the back of their mind.

Posted 06 Jul 2005

Bazigaar says
LiL_DollY said:


Abused children dont have hihg self esteem
Unless they got help form someone they are about
or a counselor or something.



u know how how old i am and how shararti i still am...what do u think i was then i was kid? a total energy-filled-kid and u think mae ne kabhi maar nahi khaye? lol...bohot khai hae...but never let my self esteem down...plus...never went to any counselor or anything...why should i? who else know me better then myself...who else can console me better then myself? naah...kid who get abused and all can have high self esteem too...haven;t u heard...when the going gets tough...the tough gets going......apna bhi kuch esa he haal hae
Posted 06 Jul 2005

Omar RA says about himself that he was an abused child. His father made him work hard labor and so did his aunts and uncles with little and seldom rewards.
Posted 06 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
okay I think you dont know

listen

abuse goes under different categories

physical abuse
verbal abuse
and
s**ual abuse

now think about what I said before

bazi...abused children in some categories do need help.
Posted 06 Jul 2005

Bazigaar says
LiL_DollY said:

okay I think you dont know

listen

abuse goes under different categories

physical abuse
verbal abuse
and
s**ual abuse

now think about what I said before

bazi...abused children in some categories do need help.



yeah i guess..
Posted 07 Jul 2005

SohniKuddi says
IF U ARE AWARE THAT THE REASON FOR A PARTICULAR WAY OF BAHAVING IS CAUSED BY LOWER SELF ESTEEM, THIS SHOWS THAT SHE IS NOT DOING IT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD, MAYBE SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY, MAYBE SHE DOES IT TO MAKE HERSELF FEEL BETTER. IT'S TRUE THAT A PERSONS YOUNGER YEARS ARE REFLEECTED IN THEIR CHARACTER WHEN THEY ARE ADULTS, BUT THIS IS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE, YOU SEE MY CHILDHOOD WASN'T EXACTLY THE BEST, THERE ARE TIMES IN MY CHILDHOOD THAT I WISH WERN'T THERE, BUT I FEEL THAT ME AS A PERSON, I LIKE TO THINK I HAVE HIGH SELF ESTEEM, I AM PROUD OF THE PERSON I HAVE BECOME. IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS ABUSED (IN ANY WAY MENTIONED ABOVE). CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES WERE DESCRIBED BY FREUD, AS HAVING GREAT IMPACT ON ADULT LIFE, IN MOST CASES HE WAS RIGHT, SOME OF THEORIES MAKE PERFECT SENSE, OTHERS...ERRRR MAYBE NOT. SEE, "BLAME THE PARENTS" LOLZZZ, THATS WHAT HE EXPRESSED.

SO BACK TO UR FRIEND, IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT SHE HATES YOU, I MEAN LIKE YOU SAID SHE'S FAMILY, MAYBE IT'S JUST HER WY OF MAKING HERSELF FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF, SHE OBVIOUSLY HAS LOWER SELF ESTEEM, SO BEING MEAN RIGHT BACK AT HER WOULD ONLY HURT HER, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SPEAK TO HER AND TELL HER THAT YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT SHE SAYS, BECAUSE SHE HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM DOESN'T MEAN THAT SHE'S A NASTY PERSON, SO DOLLY SIS, DON'T WORRY, JUST DON'T TAKE WHAT SHE SAYS PERSONALLY, TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHERE SHE IS COMING FROM AND MAKE TRY TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER ABOUT HERSELF.
Posted 07 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
thxz for your advice Sohni
and nice to hear about your childhood.

Posted 07 Jul 2005

SohniKuddi says
DID I SAY 2 MUCH LOLZ, NAH I CAN'T SAY IT WAS THE WORST BUT IT WASN'T THE BEST
Posted 07 Jul 2005

Ashii says
awww dollyyyy
ignorree,, just ignore
most of pakis r like that,, it seems u never experienced that before,,,
i alway make fun of myself with them,,,, and then they just shut up
Posted 07 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
ahem...Sall shes' family
I cant ignore
then she might tell my parents
your daughter this or that
you know how paki folks make stories...
Posted 09 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
You know Ive been trying to avoid her words....but after a while they pile up...

then I feel like Im being buried in her words...

step up and say something nicely...that shall work
Posted 09 Jul 2005

Ashii says
awww,,,,,,

pooor dollly,,, aik to hamare parents naa
they trust ppl more than their own children
same here,, but i dont care anymore


hmmm,, meri advice pe to na hi chalna yar,,, family ki baat hai,, but i ll say again,, just ignore
hmm,, and get pierced ur eye brow,, bohot show off karna phir ;)
Posted 09 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
r u serious>
Posted 12 Jul 2005

Bazigaar says
dolly u must remember tomorrow when u;r kids do same things and won;t listen to u then how would u feel...if u won;t feel bad, then don;t feel bad for u;r parents now either...and just do what u want to...
Posted 12 Jul 2005

Short, Sweet and simple: Respect is a two way street. You respect others, they respect you. You respect YOURSELF, they will respect you.

Be nice but not naive - someone doesn't know their limits, show it to 'em. Remember, you don't have to be rude to do that. Just be firm and assertive (not aggressive).
Posted 12 Jul 2005

LiL_DollY says
Bazigaar said:

dolly u must remember tomorrow when u;r kids do same things and won;t listen to u then how would u feel...if u won;t feel bad, then don;t feel bad for u;r parents now either...and just do what u want to...




this has nothign to do with my parents...

i dont feel the connection your tryiing tomake bazi
but thxz
Posted 13 Jul 2005

Bazigaar says
LiL_DollY said:

Bazigaar said:

dolly u must remember tomorrow when u;r kids do same things and won;t listen to u then how would u feel...if u won;t feel bad, then don;t feel bad for u;r parents now either...and just do what u want to...




this has nothign to do with my parents...

i dont feel the connection your tryiing tomake bazi
but thxz


u don;t feel cuz u don;t wanna feel
Posted 13 Jul 2005

Bazigaar said:

LiL_DollY said:

Bazigaar said:

dolly u must remember tomorrow when u;r kids do same things and won;t listen to u then how would u feel...if u won;t feel bad, then don;t feel bad for u;r parents now either...and just do what u want to...




this has nothign to do with my parents...

i dont feel the connection your tryiing tomake bazi
but thxz


u don;t feel cuz u don;t wanna feel


I can't see connection here either and I don't know how you can conclude (you can guess but can't be sure) about what someone "don't wanna feel"
Posted 13 Jul 2005

oneofakind says
lil doly dis girl is obviously bothering u with these commets..i have been through it too and know how it feels but ..da only way it stops is if u answer her, not being too rude but have dat slight tone in ur voice dat says i did not like what u just said...i use to have did antie dat use to make stuplid comments all da time ad ask stupid questions...i took it a few times but den i use to tink about it afterz and feel bad for not speaking... the next few times she did it i really anserwed her and put her back in her place , again i woz not too rude but slightly with a tone dat got da mesge across..ad da trick is dat stright after u said what u have to say ..start another suject and be all sweet so they leave in a ok mood...u see als well dat ends well
Posted 17 Jul 2005

thanks for resonating my view point 1ofakind!
Posted 19 Jul 2005

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