night_angel
Age: 124
6848 days old here
Total Posts: 127
Points: 0
Location:
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Bill and Hillary At the Ball Game
Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the year, and everyone is yelling and screaming. One of the President's cabinet advisors whispers advice into his ear, at which point Bill stands up and throws Hillary out onto the field. The crowd goes deathly silent and the advisor says, "No, sir, what I said was, they want you to throw out the first pitch."
night_angel
Age: 124
6848 days old here
Total Posts: 127
Points: 0
Location:
,
Alligator Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouted out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
WARMTH OF LOVE
Age: 124
7906 days old here
Total Posts: 22153
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
The boss of a big company needed to call one of
his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked,
"Is your Daddy home?"
"Yes", whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?", the man asked.
To the surprise of the boss, the small voice wheispered, "No."
Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is
your Mummy there?"
"Yes", came the answer.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No".
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child
would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?", the boss asked the child.
"Yes", whispered the child, "a policeman".
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked,
"May I speak with the policeman"?
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.
"Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman", came
the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard
what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now
alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice, the child answered,
"The search team just landed the hello-copper".
Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little
frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?".
Still whispering, the young voice replied along
with a muffled giggle .................... "Me."
REAL NICE
