" elders respect "

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Ashii

Age: 121
Total Posts: 31001
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Location:
France, France
aao bacho,, suno kahani
.......


one of my friend is getting married vv soon
she was talking to her fiance and baton baton mei he said
"im sort of person who respect his parents a lotttt and i expect the same from u,,
my dad is vv short tempered,, few days ago (his) bhabi made a cup of T for abba jii, and abba jii said yeh chae theek nahi phir banao, unhon ne phir se banai,, and abba jii said again yeh bhi theek nahi,, 3rd time bhi abba jii ko chae theek nahi lagi aur gusse mei aa k he said 'kuch kaam karna nahi aata,, i ll do it myself'"

my question is
aise bigre hue abba jii k saath kya karna chaiye ???
baat be baat pe jo aap ko daant dein, sirf apni manwana jante hon,, how can u respect such person
Posted 21 Nov 2005

Bazigaar says
SALL said:



my question is
aise bigre hue abba jii k saath kya karna chaiye ???
baat be baat pe jo aap ko daant dein, sirf apni manwana jante hon,, how can u respect such person



if i am not mistaken...it was between daughter-in-law and father-in law right?

ok..well, in such case...if a girl feels what her in-laws r doing is not right..she must be paitant to begin with, but she must talk to her husband bout his parents behaviuor (husband should not think his wife is complaining...but he should think positively and see what's going on before he jumps up to colclusions)

and if the husband is reasonable guy...he will tro to find a solution for this problem so make everyone satisfied...

in a case where husband is NOT reasonable and tells his wife that the behaviour of his parents is normal and she should get used to it...then unfortunatly there r not very many choices for her...unless she;s bold lady who want to take matters in her own hands (what else can she do when her husband is not supportive in first place?)

last but not least...i give alot of importance when it comes to respecting elders, but then should also respect their daughter-in-law's as they rlike their daughters NOT slaves or maids...
Posted 21 Nov 2005

agree with shah jee
Posted 21 Nov 2005

Father in law needs to learn and exercise more caring and respectful behavior. Respect is a two way street. If elders are not respectful of younger-ones, young people may not dis them openly but will not respect them whole heartedly.

Daughter in law needs to learn patience and understanding, people at old age become cranky and unreasonable. How do we know her own father is not like that? What would you do if you had a father like that?
Posted 21 Nov 2005

LiL_DollY says
true respect is a two way street
Posted 21 Nov 2005

BadShaH1 says
father in law is not responsible for the wife of his son
he should never indulge in their matters
Posted 21 Nov 2005

Doctor Sam says
Hmmmm.

aisa Banda ho sakta hey psycho ho...

Posted 21 Nov 2005

Ashii says
agree bazu


u r rite SD
but its easier to ignore when that person is ur OWN father
khair,, u r rite,, but wot i ve noticed is that short tempered ppl have same bahaviour in old age


pshycho
phir to apne aas paas dekho,,, koi normal banda nazar nahi aae ga
Posted 22 Nov 2005

LiL_DollY says
old age
sometimes
old habits
from old times

times change

pickiness

OLD SCHOOL PEOPLE
OLD SCHOOL MINDS
Posted 22 Nov 2005

Ashii says
thnx alll
i was thinking abt giving same advice to my friend,, but mostly ppl think that my ideas r a bit "out of the world" that s y i posted that topic here

thnx GOD iss masle pe sab meri tarha hi sochte hein
Posted 22 Nov 2005

Sorry to burst your bubble sall, I am not thinking like you.

Yes there might be some carry overs from personality but there could be other factors also contributing to it. Sickness with disease, cirumstances and stress may have changed a person so much... we can't discount those factors.

easier to ignore own father    but pick on some one else's...   



Dolly, people of all schools together make a society. New school and old school may think differently but they all are part of each other's life. People change with time but everybody responds differently. Those who don't cahnge fast enough can't be left behind. Life is the name of striking or actually struggling to strike a balance in various aspects of life.
Posted 22 Nov 2005

Bazigaar says
when a girl goes to her husband's house...it;s not only her responsibility to change, but it;s also her husband + in-laws responsibility to change to an extend too...as the girl comes from a totaly different family..different values, different home atmosphere...it's tough for girls..in-laws have to understand this and take it easy on such girls...

every senerio is different, but in case of sall's story..it was father-in-law's fault..as the girl obeyed him everytime he asked for tea..well, if she dunno how to make good tea..it;s not her fault is it? this girl did everything right...as a good daughter-in-law should..she obeyed her father-in-law...if i was dat girl husband..i won;t like what the father-in-law did as it;s an insult to that girl...and if she was my wife..her insult is my insult..and i ain't gonna like it...(especially when she didn;t do anything wrong to begin with)...

Sall - divorece is not an answer...i believe everything can be worked out with little bit of paitance, good timing and open communication...
Posted 22 Nov 2005

Bazigaar says
SALL said:

my question is
aise bigre hue abba jii k saath kya karna chaiye ???
baat be baat pe jo aap ko daant dein, sirf apni manwana jante hon,, how can u respect such person



Sall, i have a very easy solution for u...

just tell u;r friend to ask her fiance...

offcourse he puts lots of respect in elders and expects same from her, but what will he do at his father's such behaviour towards her? what if it was "her" instead of his bhabi? what would he do?

the guys reply would tell u everything how he plans to keep u;r friend in her house...(gets his family members to respect her or no)
Posted 22 Nov 2005

Ashii says
Smooth_daddy said:

Sorry to burst your bubble sall, I am not thinking like you.

Yes there might be some carry overs from personality but there could be other factors also contributing to it. Sickness with disease, cirumstances and stress may have changed a person so much... we can't discount those factors.


areyyy yarr,, i know abt other factors offcourse
wot do u think if he was vvvv old and ill person to me yehi kehti
itna bhi pagal nahi hu me
Posted 22 Nov 2005

Ashii says
bazu,,
infact the guy talked to my friend to tell her that "this is" wot he expects from her




khair this T STORY was just a little example,, we cant judge a person just coz he reacted in such way once
there r a lootttt of other things,, i wont share her personal life on net (or her fiance will killlll me)



i m not trying to present my friend as a victim,, coz she knows vv well how to deal with her in-laws


i only wanted to know wot u ppl think abt elders' behavior
i talked to my mom,, and she said that theek hai galti uncle ki hai par woh phir bhi bare hein
and i said jab BARE aise hein to hum choton se aap kya umeed rakhte ho
Posted 22 Nov 2005

Bazigaar says
SALL said:

bazu,,
infact the guy talked to my friend to tell her that "this is" wot he expects from her



this tells me that the guy doesn't gives a rat's a** if his wife is respected at home or no...all he cares bout is his family and elders...
Posted 23 Nov 2005

SALL One thing I agree that in such situations some time ppl get annoyed and its hard to respect.And for a normal tempered person like me also forced to do such things like badtamezee, But some relations make ur self tied u to do what u dont like,
As my case i was forced to respect and greet a person who hates me most in this world But I haveto respect him for the man who loves me most whom i care and respect the most.

Posted 23 Nov 2005

Ashii says
Shahenshah said:

this tells me that the guy doesn't gives a rat's a** if his wife is respected at home or no...all he cares bout is his family and elders...


u said it,, but yeh baat hum nahi keh sakte
meri maa will kill me
woh pehle hi kehti rehti hein "kissi ka ghar na basne dena"
Posted 24 Nov 2005

Ashii says
Teen Tracker said:

SALL One thing I agree that in such situations some time ppl get annoyed and its hard to respect.And for a normal tempered person like me also forced to do such things like badtamezee, But some relations make ur self tied u to do what u dont like,
As my case i was forced to respect and greet a person who hates me most in this world But I haveto respect him for the man who loves me most whom i care and respect the most.


ppl who love u will never force u to do anything wrong
Posted 24 Nov 2005

Bazigaar says
well u should not be scared of saying what's right..stick for the truth
Posted 24 Nov 2005

Ashii says
im not afraid for myself
but i dont interfare in others personal pbs
i ll tell her exactly wot i think,, but i ll never force her to follow my opinion,,,

u know,, all pakis are same
a vvv nice friend,, but she may blame me for pbs she ll face later
Posted 24 Nov 2005

Bazigaar says
WELL, U TOLD HER WHAT U THINK...NOW IT;S UP TO HER WHAT SHE DOES....
Posted 24 Nov 2005

Bazigaar says
damn these caps
Posted 24 Nov 2005

Ashii says



hmmm,,, im going to start a new topic
on TRUE facts
need ur comments members
Posted 26 Nov 2005

valandrian says
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