wife-beating

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Bazigaar

Age: 121
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is it ok to hit/beat u'r wife under any circumstance? i don;t plan to, but i am just curious...
Posted 15 Feb 2006

you bet! its the most fun thing - just kidding!!!

Its a very sensitive subject. Particularly women / girls are very touchy about it. I will dare to give my two cents and hope I won't stir any controversy.

it is not ok to hit/beat wife in any circumstances. Islam permits it in very selected situations and that too is with something like miswak. The purpose is not to hurt but show displeasure in extreme situations. People who mistakenly assume it is their God given right to beat on a wife are grossly wrong. Allah created women as mate for men and vice versa. Women were not created as slaves for men nor they should be treated as such.

Entering into a marital relationship via profound and divine proclamation gives both partners solemn protection and rights under the laws of sharia. Such protections include sfety against physical, verbal and emotional abuse.
Posted 15 Feb 2006

Bazigaar says
Smooth_daddy said:


it is not ok to hit/beat wife in any circumstances. Islam permits it in very selected situations and that too is with something like miswak.



if it;s not ok to beat wife then why does islam permits it even in selected matters?

secondly...what r those situations? or what could be those situations?

thirdly, what's the point of beating a wife with maswak or something similar when it won't hurt them?
Posted 15 Feb 2006

that's why I am saying, Islam only permits to hit with something that doesn't hurt the body but enough to get them to know your extreme displeasure. This type of hitting (not to be misunderstood as repeated hitting) can not be categorized as beating or abuse. This is just like when you punish your child, you don't do it to hurt the child but to make them realize that their acts are not acceptable, especially when corrected so many times before this. You slap the child on the wrist not to leave a mark or hurt it but to correct certain behavior.

This tool has to be used judiciously and only in circumstances where wife disregards husbands in matters in which she is required to regard and respect husbands authority. This too is after many reminders and corrections and only when use of physical correction in the manner stated above would not be taken as harsh treatment by the spouse. Relationship between spouses and understanding between them actually determines use of a physical corrective measure.

Allah knows the wisdon of it. What I wrote is my understanding and if someone has hadeeth or ayah from Quran to correct me please do so. I will appreciate you and correct my self.
Posted 15 Feb 2006

Bazigaar says
Smooth_daddy said:

that's why I am saying, Islam only permits to hit with something that doesn't hurt the body but enough to get them to know your extreme displeasure. This type of hitting (not to be misunderstood as repeated hitting) can not be categorized as beating or abuse. This is just like when you punish your child, you don't do it to hurt the child but to make them realize that their acts are not acceptable, especially when corrected so many times before this. You slap the child on the wrist not to leave a mark or hurt it but to correct certain behavior.

This tool has to be used judiciously and only in circumstances where wife disregards husbands in matters in which she is required to regard and respect husbands authority. This too is after many reminders and corrections and only when use of physical correction in the manner stated above would not be taken as harsh treatment by the spouse. Relationship between spouses and understanding between them actually determines use of a physical corrective measure.

Allah knows the wisdon of it. What I wrote is my understanding and if someone has hadeeth or ayah from Quran to correct me please do so. I will appreciate you and correct my self.



so beating wife lightly - in a given circumstance offcourse - to decipline her is OK according to islam - interesting...
Posted 15 Feb 2006

Bazigaar says
now another question that arise is...in Islam...

does a husband HAVE to lightly beat his wife when she dishonours him (offcourse after several warnings)...

OR...

can a husband just keep on giving her warnings after warnings after warning and not beat her?

***to support this...plz give reference from Quran or hadith
Posted 15 Feb 2006

explain dishonoring husband. It is subjective as what fares as honor. I didn't want to assume that.
Posted 15 Feb 2006

Ashii says
bazzuuuuuuu
kya irade hein
hehe,,, kdn




hmm,, welll agree to SD
coz me ne jitna parha hai uss se yehi samajh aati hai
aur mera khyal agar extrem situation hai and ur wife never listens to u so better to leave her,,



hmm,, one question to SD,, dont take me wrong plz but mere zehn mei yeh quest aksar aata hai
wot if the husband is a bad person ?? wot shd a wife do to correct him ??
being a human galti pe koi bhi ho sakta hai,, bv bhi husband bhi,, koi bhi farishta nahi hai,, agar bv ki galti correct karna husband ka kaam hai to husband ko seedhe raste pe lana kis ka kaam hai,, aur kaise ??
Posted 15 Feb 2006

haraam hai...comeon you got a mouth to talk..then y beating
Posted 15 Feb 2006

well agar husband-wife main understanding hai tu wife ussey theek kar le gie...means usko samjha kar.
Posted 15 Feb 2006

Ashii says
shahrukh khan said:

well agar husband-wife main understanding hai tu wife ussey theek kar le gie...means usko samjha kar.


samjhane mei marna bhi aata hai kya ??
Posted 15 Feb 2006

well marne se kaam kharab hi hota hai...dont know how can they hit women so easily
Posted 15 Feb 2006

'The best of you are those who are the best to their wives' - prophet's hadees

'Your wives' are a trust on to you, so treat them well', prophet's final Khutba,indicating that God will question men on how they treat their wives.

The prophet never raised a hand to his wives.

The injunction to hit a wife (lightly) is only when there is a concerns over sexual impropiety, in the case of a man being impoper then it is societies' responsibilty to correct him - which could well involve a beating.

If you fail to take the hadees with the Quran, then you will always have difficult questions to answer.

And finally 'Whatever the messenger gives you, take it and whatever he prohibits you from, refrain from it' Surah 59, this applies to the orders the prohet has given.
Posted 15 Feb 2006

Bazigaar says
Smooth_daddy said:

explain dishonoring husband. It is subjective as what fares as honor. I didn't want to assume that.



let's say cheating on him
Posted 15 Feb 2006

Bazigaar said:

Smooth_daddy said:

explain dishonoring husband. It is subjective as what fares as honor. I didn't want to assume that.



let's say cheating on him


wo!!
that's a very serious thing and that subject has been addressed in the Quran. There are restrictions and limitations on how and what to do. There is no mention of beating in it. Ramifications of cheating are, however, very strict and tough.
Posted 17 Feb 2006

Asian says
NOT OK TO BEAT ANYONE, WIFE OR HUSBAND FULL STOP

look islam came to the earth as one religion, it is human stupitity what has made Sunni and shah

all life is of value

its what ISLAM says and any CIVILISED HUMAN BEING
Posted 17 Feb 2006

From the Tafsir of Ibn Kathir on Ayah 5-10 of Surat An-Nur (24: 5-10)

Imam Ahmad recorded that Ibn `Abbas said: "When the Ayah

(And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever) [24:4] was revealed, Sa`d bin `Ubadah, may Allah be pleased with him, -- the leader of the Ansar -- said, `Is this how it was revealed, O Messenger of Allah' The Messenger of Allah said:

(O Ansar, did you hear what your leader said) They said, `O Messenger of Allah, do not blame him, for he is a jealous man. By Allah, he never married a woman who was not a virgin, and he never divorced a woman but none of us would dare to marry her because he is so jealous.' Sa`d said, `By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I know that it (the Ayah) is true and is from Allah, but I am surprised. If I found some wicked man lying down with my wife, should I not disturb him until I have brought four witnesses By Allah, he would have finished what he was doing before I could bring them!' A little while later, Hilal bin Umayyah -- one of the three whose repentance had been accepted -- came back from his lands at night and found a man with his wife. He saw with his own eyes and heard with his own ears, but he did not disturb him until the morning. In the morning he went to the Messenger of Allah and said, `O Messenger of Allah, I came to my wife at night and found a man with her, and I saw with my own eyes and heard with my own ears.' The Messenger of Allah did not like what he had said and got very upset. The Ansar gathered around him and said, `We were being tested by what Sa`d bin Ubadah said, and now the Messenger of Allah will punish Hilal bin Umayyah and declare his testimony before people to be unacceptable.' Hilal said: `By Allah, I hope that Allah will make for me a way out from this problem.' Hilal said, `O Messenger of Allah, I see how upset you are by what I have said, but Allah knows that I am telling the truth.' By Allah, the Messenger of Allah wanted to have him flogged, but then Allah sent revelation to His Messenger . When the revelation came upon him, they knew about it from the change in his face, so they would leave him alone until the revelation was finished. Allah revealed the Ayah:

(And for those who accuse their wives, but have no witnesses except themselves, let the testimony of one of them be four testimonies by Allah...,) Then the revelation was finished and the Messenger of Allah said,

(Rejoice, O Hilal, for Allah has made a way out for you.) Hilal said, `I had been hoping for this from my Lord, may He be glorified.' The Messenger of Allah said:

(Send for her.) So they sent for her and she came. The Messenger of Allah recited this Ayah to them both, and reminded them that the punishment of the Hereafter is more severe than the punishment in this world. Hilal said, `By Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I have spoken the truth about her.' She said, `He is lying.' The Messenger of Allah said,

(Make them both swear the Li`an.) So Hilal was told, `Testify.' So he testified four times by Allah that he was one of those who speak the truth. When he came to the fifth testimony, he was told, `O Hilal, have Taqwa of Allah, for the punishment of this world is easier than the punishment of the Hereafter, and this will mean that the punishment will be inevitable for you.' He said, `By Allah, Allah will not punish me for it, just as He has not caused me to be flogged for it.' So he testified for the fifth time that the curse of Allah would be upon him if he was telling a lie. Then it was said to his wife, `Testify four times by Allah that he is telling a lie.' And when his wife reached the fifth testimony, she was told, `Have Taqwa of Allah, for the punishment of this world is easier than the punishment of the Hereafter, and this will mean that the punishment will be inevitable for you.' She hesitated for a while, and was about to admit her guilt, then she said: `By Allah, I will not expose my people to shame, and she swore the fifth oath that the wrath of Allah would be upon her if he was telling the truth.' Then the Messenger of Allah separated them, and decreed that her child should not be attributed to any father, nor should the child be accused, and whoever accused her or her child, they would be subject to punishment. He also decreed that [Hilal] was not obliged to house her or feed her, because they had not been separated by divorce, nor had he died and left her a widow. He said,

(If she gives birth to a red-haired child (with skinny thighs) and thin legs, then he is Hilal's child, but if she gives birth to a curly-haired child with thick legs and plump buttocks, then this is what she is accused of.) She subsequently gave birth to a child who was curly-haired with thick legs and plump buttocks, and the Messenger of Allah said,

(Were it not for the oath that she swore, I would deal with her.)'' `Ikrimah said, "The child grew up to become the governor of Egypt, and he was given his mother's name and was not attributed to any father.'' Abu Dawud recorded a similar but briefer report. This Hadith has corroborating reports in the books of Sahih and elsewhere, with many chains of narration, including the report narrated by Al-Bukhari from Ibn `Abbas, that Hilal bin Umayyah accused his wife before the Prophet with Sharik bin Sahma'. The Prophet said,

(Evidence or the punishment on your back.) He said, "O Messenger of Allah, if any one of us saw a man with his wife, how could he go and get evidence'' The Prophet again said,

(Evidence otherwise the punishment on your back.) Hilal said, "By the One Who sent you with the truth! I am telling the truth and Allah will reveal something that will protect my back from the punishment. '' Then Jibril came down and brought the revelation,

(And for those who accuse their wives,) Then he recited until he reached: (that he is one of those who speak the truth) [24:6]. When the revelation had finished, the Prophet sent for them both. Hilal came and gave his testimony, and the Prophet said,

(Allah knows that one of you is lying. Will one of you repent) Then she stood up and gave her testimony, and when she reached the fifth oath, they stopped her and said, "If you swear the fifth oath and you are lying, the curse of Allah will be inevitable.'' Ibn `Abbas said, "She hesitated and kept quiet until we thought that she had changed her mind, then she said, `I will not dishonor my people today', and she went ahead. Then the Messenger of Allah said, (Wait until she gives birth, and if she gives birth to a child whose eyes look as if they are ringed with kohl and who has plump buttocks and thick legs, then he is the child of Sharik bin Sahma'.) She gave birth to a child who matched this description, and the Prophet said,

(Were it not for the Book of Allah, I would deal with her.) This version was recorded only by Al-Bukhari, but the event has been narrated with additional chains of narration from Ibn `Abbas and others. Imam Ahmad recorded that Sa`id bin Jubayr said: During the governorship of Ibn Az-Zubayr I was asked about the couple who engage in Li`an, and whether they should be separated, and I did not know the answer. I got up and went to the house of Ibn `Umar, and said, "O Abu `Abdur-Rahman, should the couple who engage in Li`an be separated'' He said, "Subhan Allah, the first one to ask about this was so-and-so the son of so-and-so. He said, `O Messenger of Allah, what do you think of a man who sees his wife committing an immoral sin If he speaks he will be speaking about something very serious, and if he keeps quiet he will be keeping quiet about something very serious.' [The Prophet ] kept quiet and did not answer him. Later on, he came to him and said, `What I asked you about is something with which I myself being tested with.' Then Allah revealed the Ayat,

(And for those who accuse their wives,) until he reached:

(That the wrath of Allah be upon her if he speaks the truth.) He started to advise the man and remind him about Allah, and told him that the punishment of this world is easier than the punishment of the Hereafter. The man said: `By the One Who sent you with the truth, I was not telling you a lie.' Then the Prophet turned to the woman and advised the woman and reminded her about Allah, and told her that the punishment of this world is easier than the punishment of the Hereafter. The woman said, `By the One Who sent you with the truth, he is lying.' So [the Prophet ] started with the man, who swore four times by Allah that he was one of those who speak the truth, and swore the fifth oath that the curse of Allah would be upon him if he were lying. Then he turned to the woman, who swore four times by Allah that he was lying, and swore the fifth oath that the wrath of Allah would be upon her if he was telling the truth. Then he separated them.'' It was also recorded by An-Nasa'i in his Tafsir, and by Al-Bukhari and Muslim in the Two Sahihs.





Posted 17 Feb 2006

Now, before it goes outa hand, I must mention this: We need not judge Quran by western or eastern or any other standard of civilization. Quran is "the standard". Those who want to pick and choose from it to their liking, its their business with Allah.

Whatever has been permitted in Islam cannot be made haram or prohibited or called uncivilized action by none... and i emphasize, " by none". If someone doesn't like it, too bad!

Sall, to your question, Husband and wife have equal responsibility to correct each other. Quran says, "Men have authority over women." (authority is not meant in terms of rulership as there isn't any accurate translation for the word "Qaw-wa-moon"). By virtue of that ayah and others in the Quran and tradition of the prophet, men carry a greater responsibility. Nonetheless, it doesn't take away wife's responsibility. There are many ahadeeth and Ayat from Quran that support corrective role for women. It is just that men have greater responsibility and accountability as well.
Posted 17 Feb 2006

It's a sensitive topic. Personally, apart from self defence I wouldn't hit anyone, even it was permissable, let alone my (future) wife and kid. There are other more effective and peaceful/loving ways to solve disputes.
Posted 27 Feb 2006

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