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Fairl_Girl

Age: 124
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0

Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan

Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!

Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.



Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
Son : If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?



A mother and daughter were doing dishes while the father and son were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The son turned to look at his father.

Son : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Son : She didn't say anything.



Old lady : Doctor, I've got a pain in my left leg.
Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age.
Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.


Two men were facing each other on the train.
First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word.
Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.
Posted 15 May 2007

Posted 15 May 2007

cutefriend says
Posted 16 May 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 16 May 2007

LOL!!!..
Posted 16 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says
London_Girl said:

LOL!!!..

Posted 17 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says
shahrukh khan said:

PASAND AYE?
Posted 17 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says
cutefriend said:

THX
Posted 17 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says
~tasha~ said:

Posted 17 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says


Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

------------------------------------------------------------ -------
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note .

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk...
sorry
....

------------------------------------------------------------ --------


Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

------------------------------------------------------------ --------


Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
Bill Gates damnit!

------------------------------------------------------------ --------

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try

it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't find it...

------------------------------------------------------------ --------

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?

Customer: No.

------------------------------------------------------------ --------


Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the
supermarket.

------------------------------------------------------------ --------


Helpdesk: And now hit F8.

Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?

Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's
happening...

------------------------------------------------------------ --------


Customer: My
keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

------------------------------------------------------------ --------

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

------------------------------------------------------------ --------


A customer couldn't get on the internet.

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague
do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

------------------------------------------------------------ --------


Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

------------------------------------------------------------ --------

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!


Posted 20 May 2007

cutefriend says
Complete nai read kye per jo kye
nice   
Posted 20 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?

Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can
you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?

Customer: I was working in Word
and clicked the help button more
than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping
me?

------------------------------------------------------------ --------


Helpdesk: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle
around it?

Posted 20 May 2007

cutefriend says
Posted 20 May 2007

Posted 24 May 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 24 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says
Posted 25 May 2007

~tasha~ says
more plz
Posted 25 May 2007

Posted 25 May 2007

very nice jokes
Posted 25 May 2007

Mujrim says
gud goin FG keep postin moer n more
Posted 25 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says
thx guys

okzzz as u all wish
Posted 29 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says




Boy Writing On A Dog       

One day a boy was writing something on a dog. Father asked what he was doing? Boy replied, "Teacher told me to write an essay on dog today as homework"



Once a sardarji was sitting at the top of the mountain, having a book in his hand. Some body asked him, 'what are you doing?' He replied, 'higher studies.'


       

Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks To be as rich as his child believes To have as many women as his wife suspects..
Posted 29 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says
ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL

Q: What kind of cats love the water?
A: Octo-Pussies.

Q: Who is the dogs favourite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx.

Q: What's a porcupine's favorite food?
A: Prickled onions.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A: A zebra with a drumkit.

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell garage.

Q: What were the only creatures not to go into the Ark in pairs?
A: The Maggots, they went in an apple.

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chickens day off.

Q: What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
A: Hot cross bunnies.

Q: What do you give a sick pig?
A: Oinkment!

Posted 29 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says

The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then,when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.

Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him British Airways.

Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him P&O Ferries.

Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I would like something to watch films on." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him MGM Studios and their cinemas, where he watched all his favourite Western Movies.

Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are an inspiration to us all. Anything you want, I shall get for you."

His son, who had caught the 'Western' movie bug, replied, "Daddy,I would like a cowboy outfit." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father went and bought him Microsoft.





Posted 29 May 2007

Mujrim says




Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks To be as rich as his child believes To have as many women as his wife suspects..

loved it the last one especially
Posted 30 May 2007

Fairl_Girl says
Posted 31 May 2007

Mujrim says
awwwwwww aajao

jus apreciatin ur gud wrk jee nthngelse
Posted 01 Jun 2007

Fairl_Girl says
huh
Posted 01 Jun 2007

Fairl_Girl says

Chori choriye Aanaa janaa chor do...
Chupkay chupkay yoon nazar milanaa chor do....
Kisi din bohot pitto gay unsay tum....
yeh masjidon sy jutiyaan chraana chor do...
Posted 01 Jun 2007

Fairl_Girl says
Q: How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?
A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.

* * *

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer,
"I think I'm planting them too deep."

* * *

Q: How do you confuse an idiot?
A: Give him two spades and tell him to take his pick.

* * *

Did you here about the idiot who won the 'Tour De France'?
He did a lap of Honour!

* * *

Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer?
He fell in the sink!
Posted 01 Jun 2007

Mujrim says
gud wrk jee
Allah aapko khush rakhe Ameen
Posted 01 Jun 2007

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