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Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!

Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.



Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
Son : If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?



A mother and daughter were doing dishes while the father and son were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The son turned to look at his father.

Son : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Son : She didn't say anything.



Old lady : Doctor, I've got a pain in my left leg.
Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age.
Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.


Two men were facing each other on the train.
First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word.
Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.