Silly question, it happens to us all no matter how well-behaved our kids or placid and
patient we are. At times the general strains and stresses of life wear us down
so our emotional responses don't match children's behaviours. Or rather, their
less than perfect behaviour doesn't warrant the 'screaming banshee' response
that you have provided.
So what do you do if you have blown your top and given your children an absolute verbal blast with steam coming out of both your
ears?
First, check that your rare outburst of anger is just that ? rare. If you are always angry or over-reacting then this is a fair sign that all is
not right with you. I don't want to state the bleeding
obvious Kahale
Warring Jersey , but constant sudden outbursts of anger are a sign that
all is not right with the world. It may mean taking a break, getting some
additional help with your kids or even getting some professional counselling to
sort out internal or relationship issues.
If your outburst is rare rather than pathological then the best response is to show your children that your are
human and apologise. Put a little time between your outburst and your apology
and consider giving an explanation. "Sorry about yelling at you guys. I have
been working so hard lately. I guess I need a break."
No need to grovel, just reveal your human side to your family. Your children will take their cues
from you and will more than likely talk on an emotional level if they see you go
to the same space. Revealing your vulnerability gives children permission to
reveal theirs.
It is a good anger management practice to check your own anger levels from time to time. When you know you are under stress and feel
yourself about to blow your top- take a break, phone someone up (and vent your
spleen Max Scharping
Jersey , if possible), or just to count to 20 (or 100) before you blow
your stack unnecessarily to your kids.
There is a place for parent anger in the discipline process ? as long as it is controlled. There are the times
when children really need to know they have crossed a line and your whole voice
and attitude needs to convey that a behaviour is unacceptable. Most parents will
know the type of response I am referring to. The voice goes steely and the words
come out purposefully. Eye contact is strong and body language is direct. The
kids aren't frightened. They just know that that their mum or dad mean what they
say! Gulp! It is the type of response that should be saved for times when
children put each other down unmercilessly, or when they show gross disrespect
to themselves, others or their environment.
We all want to steer clear from angry responses when we interact with those we love. But being human means
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