shar jokes with me

4865 views 123 replies
Reply to Topic
Fairl_Girl

Age: 124
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0

Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Computer Users

Computer users are divided into three types:

Novice, Intermediate and Expert.

Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.

Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.

Expert Users - People who press the keys that break other people's computers.
Posted 09 May 2005

Fairl_Girl says
Posted 29 Jun 2005

Fairl_Girl says

Here's why you shouldnt mess too much with a kid: *A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "then you ask him". * A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently
Posted 29 Jun 2005

Fairl_Girl says
Posted 02 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says


A Chinese walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.He tells the loan officer that he is going to Taiwan on business for twoweeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checked out.The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interes
Posted 02 Jul 2005

irsa says
Photographing a new puppy isn't as easy as it may first sound...

Remove film from box and load camera.

Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.

Choose a suitable background for photo.

Mount camera on tripod and focus.

Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.

Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.

Put magazines back on coffee table.

Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.

Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

Call spouse to clean up mess.

Fix a drink.

Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
Posted 05 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says
samjh nahi aya
Posted 06 Jul 2005

cutefriend says
main samjhata hoon
Posted 06 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says

Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.

Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?

Patient: I sure did. The bottle said, 'keep tightly closed.'

Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee receives an urgent cable from Laloo:

DEAR PM. BIHARI PEOPLE STARVING. SEND FOOD.

The PM cables back:
DEAR LALOOJI. REGRET STARVING PEOPLE. HAVE NO SURPLUS FOOD. TIGHTEN BELTS.

To which he receives the following reply from Laloo:
SEND BELTS.
Posted 06 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says
ACHI BAAT HAI NANA ABU
Posted 06 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says
Ab Jab ghire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi
Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main, lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad?
Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...
================================
Posted 06 Jul 2005

irsa says
Posted 06 Jul 2005

joker says
Khuda ne jab tumhe banaya hoga,
Confusion ka moment aaya hoga,
Kabhi Monkey to kabhi Donkey banana chaha hoga,
End mein dono ka mixture passand aaya hoga!
Posted 06 Jul 2005

joker says
Today, tomorrow and yesterday there will be
One heart that would always beat for you
You know whose?
Your Own Stupid!
Posted 06 Jul 2005

joker says
Hum dua karte hain Khuda se,
Ki WO aap jaisa dost aur Na banaye...,
Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas,
Kahin WO bhi common Na ho jaye!
Posted 06 Jul 2005

joker says
Woh gori hai uski zulfe hain kali,
Wo Pari hai ya Pariyo ki Rani,
Uski har baat hai nirali,
Par kya karu yaaro WO larki Kisi aur ne pata li
Posted 06 Jul 2005

cutefriend says
hahahhaha

bahut khoob hh
Posted 07 Jul 2005

paki_fan says
lol
nice ones
Posted 07 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says
lol hh
keep it up
Posted 08 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says
========================================================
Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se,
to hum madhosh ho gaye,
Par jab pata chala ki unki nazare hi tirchhi hai,
to hum behosh ho gaye...
==========================================================
Ab Jab ghire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi
Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main, lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad?
Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...
================================
Posted 08 Jul 2005

joker says
thx thx thx all
ahaan nice fg
Posted 08 Jul 2005

irsa says
oh ya!
Posted 09 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says

iss dunya mein, tum he sab sey haseen ho
mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho

bas tere he sang jo meri zindagi
acha nehi ke mein kar lo khudhkoshi

rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum

ab tu tere bin jeena ho gaya hai mushkil
haan ghar ke liye chahiye nokrani mustakil

dekho mujhey hai kitna pyar tum sey, ab tu haan karo
agar ab bi hai inkaar tu yeh letter agay pass karo
Posted 10 Jul 2005

joker says
Posted 10 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says


==========================================================
zamin se leke asaman tak .......asman se leke zamin tak
zamin se leke asaman tak .......asman se leke zamin tak
beech mein hawa hi hawa hai

=========================================================
zindigi ke hasin mod pe yoon na rukiye
zindigi ke hasin mod pe yoon na rukiye
IODEX maliye kaam pe chaliye

==========================================================
Ladka: Kaash in hasinaaon kay baap mar jayen'
Bahana ho afsos ka hum inke ghar to jayen
Ladki: Aisa sochna bhi mat aye zalim paap hoga
Kabhi tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga
=========================================================

Maine tujhse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Maine tujhse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Sin theta by cos theta is equal to tan theta

========================================================
Ansu tere nikle, to ankhen meri ho,
Dil tera dhadke, to dhadkan meri ho,
Khuda kare dosti hamari itni gehri ho,
Baap tu bane, to mehnat meri ho
=============================
Posted 11 Jul 2005

cutefriend says
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted 11 Jul 2005

irsa says
very cool!
Fairl_Girl said:


iss dunya mein, tum he sab sey haseen ho
mein aur kahon jhot kitna, ke tum ko yaqeen ho

bas tere he sang jo meri zindagi
acha nehi ke mein kar lo khudhkoshi

rooz khawab mein nazar aatey ho tum
kio mujhey neend mein bi daratay ho tum

ab tu tere bin jeena ho gaya hai mushkil
haan ghar ke liye chahiye nokrani mustakil

dekho mujhey hai kitna pyar tum sey, ab tu haan karo
agar ab bi hai inkaar tu yeh letter agay pass karo

Posted 12 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says
thxxx
Posted 12 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says


Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.

Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?

Patient: I sure did. The bottle said, 'keep tightly closed.'

Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee receives an urgent cable from Laloo:

DEAR PM. BIHARI PEOPLE STARVING. SEND FOOD.
Posted 12 Jul 2005

irsa says
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.
Posted 13 Jul 2005

Fairl_Girl says
Posted 14 Jul 2005

Reply to Topic