I feel like everybody in my life doesnt like me.I have moments where I feel like I am fake.It makes me stop in my tracks.I feel like people are
disappointed in me and that Im a bad person. This causes extreme guilt.
I sometimes have really bad suicide ideation. But it doesnt seem like a
big deal when it is happening.It just feels like an emotion I have.
Then it goes away.It comes back so bad though. I dont think it can be
fixed with meds. I took them once and felt too euphoric. Like I was
high. It lasted for a long time.My life is just kinda falling apart
right now but it is great. I have these amazing moments. But they feel
so temporary. Like they are cheap.
When I am very happy I get suspicious. It usually means I am going to feel very disappointed. I
have these really great feelings though, like I know secrets of the
world. I get so disappointed that I cant pass the feeling.
