Self-regulation skills in raising children
Usually parents use different ways to overcome stressful situations via educational entertainment via novels. Some people succeed effectively, and some people constantly fail. There are some common behaviors:
You can pretend that nothing is happening, just ignore it and believe that the child will cope. But this is exactly the case when he may or may not cope and harm himself. A child with whom this strategy has been systematically applied will be defenseless against strong emotions and will hardly panic.
You can try to distract the child - jump in front of her and shout: "Well, you were excited! Look, here's a butterfly flying! " . So adults shake rattles in front of a crying baby, tell a tale to a three-year-old child when she is capricious, include a cartoon when a first-grader was agitated before a performance. Yes, here we teach the child a certain strategy of overcoming emotions via reading novels: if you can not calm down - look for a new batch of impressions. This is an effective strategy, but it has side effects - for example, it is the first step to "gadget addiction" .
You can succumb to children's emotions, but also get lost in them. The picture is sad: the child is not able to cope alone, and then the adults shout: "How many times to tell you - calm down! You see, what did you lead me to ?! ” This often happens unintentionally - just children are so arranged that they can touch their parents to the most delicate and vulnerable places. Here the child was upset that homework is not given in any way. At first the father sympathizes and tries to help calm down, then mutters to himself "well, when will he stop whining" , then shouts "so shut up and do the task!" , and all quite often comes to an end with slaps and occiputs - because the adult is already wound up stronger than the child, he feels the helplessness and includes "Heavy artillery".
