- divorce in our society -

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Ashii

Age: 124
Total Posts: 31001
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Location:
France, France
our religion Islam gives the right of divoce to men

lets start with few questions
how do u think a man shd deal with this right ?
what do u think is a valid reason that man can use this right ?
how seriously do WE take this issue in our families/society ?



lemme precise that im not asking for a long copy paste from an islamic site
we all know wot is halal, haram or na-pasandeeda
here I only need UR views, facts,,,
Posted 29 Aug 2006

chandbabu says
bad bad and very bad
Posted 29 Aug 2006

Ashii says
this is not the answer of any of my questions
try to read the topic atleast
Posted 30 Aug 2006

danie says
I have heard that in muslims it's enough to say talak by husband 3 times to get divorce.Is it true?

Wives also can get divorce by this way or not ?
Plz somebody reply me.
Posted 30 Aug 2006

chandbabu says
ok sall
Posted 30 Aug 2006

Doctor Sam says
ye topic khasa serious hey aor apni kam-fehmi mujhe kuch kehne se rok rahi hey..
dekhain Sall... islam ne jo conditions batai hain wesa e hona chahiye... hamari society main men use this right of divorce in such a way k kabhi kisi baat pe itna ghussa aaaya k biwi ko talaq de di..
i think ye ghalat use hey..
according to my personal observation. main ne kuch logon ko baat baat pe biwi ko talaq ki dhamkiyan dete huye suna hey aor dekha hey...
by having this right, i personally feel , men often try to compress their wives, by threatening them...
Hamaray serious lene se wese kya hoga Sall..
i dont know what to answer ur last 2 qs..
Posted 30 Aug 2006

new_beau says
SALL said:



how do u think a man shd deal with this right ?

what do u think is a valid reason that man can use this right ?

how seriously do WE take this issue in our families/society ?



1. Agar Aurat Islami Terz-e-Zindagi ki pabanadi na keray

2. Agar Aurat Shohar kay saath bewafayee ki Murtakib ho

3. Agar Aurat Huqooq-e-Zaujiyat Ada na keray

In all other matters MAN should not use this right to threaten or any other misuse.

(Meri Naqis Raye)
Posted 30 Aug 2006

Ashii says
danie said:

I have heard that in muslims it's enough to say talak by husband 3 times to get divorce.Is it true?

Wives also can get divorce by this way or not ?
Plz somebody reply me.


u ve heard right danie
only man has this right, a woman can ASK for divorce but cant GIVE it
unfortunately this right is largely misused and mis understood in our society this is the reason i started that topic
Posted 31 Aug 2006

Ashii says
Doctor Sam said:

ye topic khasa serious hey aor apni kam-fehmi mujhe kuch kehne se rok rahi hey..
dekhain Sall... islam ne jo conditions batai hain wesa e hona chahiye... hamari society main men use this right of divorce in such a way k kabhi kisi baat pe itna ghussa aaaya k biwi ko talaq de di..
i think ye ghalat use hey..
according to my personal observation. main ne kuch logon ko baat baat pe biwi ko talaq ki dhamkiyan dete huye suna hey aor dekha hey...
by having this right, i personally feel , men often try to compress their wives, by threatening them...
Hamaray serious lene se wese kya hoga Sall..
i dont know what to answer ur last 2 qs..


true daktar
baat sirf dhamki ki nahi hai,,, in all paki families aise case hein jab GUSSE mei man says talaq (once or twice,, even 3 times) and later family k BUZURG sulah karwa dete hein
jab k talak harrr halat mei ho jati hai,, and obviously gusse mei hi aisi baat kahi jati hai, pyar se to talak dete nahi
sab log itne serious matter ko mazak mei lete hein.. jab k hakeekat yeh hai k zindagi mei kabhi bhi jitne marzi arse k wakfe k baad aik aik kar k 3 talak de di ja'ain to nikkah khatam ho jata hai

to b honest mera to dil kharab ho jata hai yeh sochte hue k maloom nahi how many couples are living togather jab k unn ki talak ho chuki hai


im still waiting wot do u think shd b the answer of other 2 questions
its only a discussion yar,, galt bhi keh do ge to koi nahi mare ga hehee
Posted 31 Aug 2006

Ashii says
new_beau said:

1. Agar Aurat Islami Terz-e-Zindagi ki pabanadi na keray

2. Agar Aurat Shohar kay saath bewafayee ki Murtakib ho

3. Agar Aurat Huqooq-e-Zaujiyat Ada na keray

In all other matters MAN should not use this right to threaten or any other misuse.

(Meri Naqis Raye)


thnxx naya bhai jii
i totaly agree to ur answer,, but yeh to sirf 2nd question ka answer hai,, baki do ??
Posted 31 Aug 2006

javad says
hi salloo sis
as always im late.. but i realy lv u bcz of ur such good topics..


ANS-1) Ji bilkul Admi ko ye right bilkul theek hai kion k as u know aurat bohat emotional hoti hain aur jaldi main faisla kar deti hai.. apnay dekha hoga hamary gharon main kia hota hai maa bachon ko bura bhala bolti hai aur dil say wo esaa nahi karti esay hi jab bhi kabhi koi masla ho jai jahan ghalti bhi mard ki hi ho to wo foran choornay par tull jati hai lekin iskay oppst mard zara soch samjh kar faisla karta hai aur kabhi b essay emotioanl kadam nahi uthata, abb mard b ghalt hosakty hain ye to obvios hai. Allah behtar janty hain k kon kesa hai aur kisay kia zimadri deni chahye ishi liye Mard ko ye right mila.

ANS-2)Jab koi aurat islam k against chaly, badchalan ho, samjhany say na samjhy to phir iss na pasndeeda amal ko karny ki ijazat hai.

ANS-3)this is a very serious issue aur hamary mashry main aap janti hi ho k aurat ka kia mukaam hai, aur devorcy ko log kiss nighah say dekhtay hain chahy uski ghalti ho na ho. aur issay poori family effect hoti hai Allah sabko issay bachaye isshi liye iss chez say har koi bachny ki koshish karta hai khas to par aurat wo BEGHERAT MARDO kay zulm bhi sehti hai.


SOMTHING MORE
JAHAN MARD KO TALAK DENAY KA RIGHT HAI WAHIN AGAR AURAT SAMJHTI HAI USKA HUSBAND SAHI NAHI GHALAT HAI WO USKAY SATH NAHI RAH SAKTI ETC ETC TO USAY BHI KHULAA LENAY KI IJAZAT HAI MAGAR YE DONO CHEZEN BOHAT BURI HAIN INKA HAR AIKPAR BOHAT BURA ASAR HOTA HAI AGAR BACHY HON TU UNPAR AUR POORI FAMILY PAR.



ye mery views hain.
Posted 02 Sep 2006

jerablade says
Sorry guys i was not prepare for such a big and serious talk.

But what i believe is that male and female have equal rights.

Man has certain responsibilities and female as well.

Man must use his right sensibly for divorcing his wife. It should not as we usaully see in film. B/C its true once u this word thrice whether in one go or at different times but in same continuation result is same.

But i does not mean that female has no rights. She can claim for divorce as well.

I will pray Allah shall never bring this moment in any couples life. Amen

Thanks to reading my boring speech.
Posted 03 Sep 2006

nina says
javed ji yeh line bahoot achee hain.         & nbsp;     SOMTHING MORE
JAHAN MARD KO TALAK DENAY KA RIGHT HAI WAHIN AGAR AURAT SAMJHTI HAI USKA HUSBAND SAHI NAHI GHALAT HAI WO USKAY SATH NAHI RAH SAKTI ETC ETC TO USAY BHI KHULAA LENAY KI IJAZAT HAI MAGAR YE DONO CHEZEN BOHAT BURI HAIN INKA HAR AIKPAR BOHAT BURA ASAR HOTA HAI AGAR BACHY HON TU UNPAR AUR POORI FAMILY PAR.      
Posted 03 Sep 2006

Ashii says
javad said:

ANS-1) Ji bilkul Admi ko ye right bilkul theek hai kion k as u know aurat bohat emotional hoti hain aur jaldi main faisla kar deti hai.. apnay dekha hoga hamary gharon main kia hota hai maa bachon ko bura bhala bolti hai aur dil say wo esaa nahi karti esay hi jab bhi kabhi koi masla ho jai jahan ghalti bhi mard ki hi ho to wo foran choornay par tull jati hai lekin iskay oppst mard zara soch samjh kar faisla karta hai aur kabhi b essay emotioanl kadam nahi uthata, abb mard b ghalt hosakty hain ye to obvios hai. Allah behtar janty hain k kon kesa hai aur kisay kia zimadri deni chahye ishi liye Mard ko ye right mila.


mujhe iss baat ka inkar nahi k Allah miyan ne jisse jo right diya uss k peeche koi hikmat hai
kehna sirf itna hai k kya uss right ko istemal karne ka tareeka hum sab ko aata hai
in answer to ur "emotional aurat point"
aurat ka dil bohot narm hota hai,, mamta, pyar and all that,,, yeh sab kudarti cheezein hein issi liye Allah miyan ne jo mukaam maa ko diya woh baap ko nahi diya, He better knows kisse kya RIGHT milna chaiye,, but apne bachon k pyaar mei unn ki galtiyon pe parda dalne ko jab ma'ain koi galt kaam karti hein to kya woh maafi k layak hota hai ?? (u know well the reason of saas bahu ki eternal larai,, iss ka reason zyada tar maa ka apne bete pe overly possessed hona hota hai)

back to the topic
mujhe iss baat se koi eitraz nahi hai k mard ko yeh right kyun mila,, sirf itna puchna chah rahi hu k kya mard ko apna yeh right istemal karna aata hai ??
have u read doctor sam's post... wotever he said is totaly right..... u know wot i havent seen many paki women jo foran talak k liye tayyar ho ja'ain.. jab k me bohot si aisi aurton ko janti hon jo har haal mei chup kar k reh leti hein sirf iss liye k unhein talak na ho
Posted 03 Sep 2006

Ashii says
javad said:

ANS-2)SOMTHING MORE
JAHAN MARD KO TALAK DENAY KA RIGHT HAI WAHIN AGAR AURAT SAMJHTI HAI USKA HUSBAND SAHI NAHI GHALAT HAI WO USKAY SATH NAHI RAH SAKTI ETC ETC TO USAY BHI KHULAA LENAY KI IJAZAT HAI MAGAR YE DONO CHEZEN BOHAT BURI HAIN INKA HAR AIKPAR BOHAT BURA ASAR HOTA HAI AGAR BACHY HON TU UNPAR AUR POORI FAMILY PAR.


hmmm,, khula ya talak ka kissi pe kaise bura asar ho sakta hai,, i dont understand
jab baat iss had tak pohonch jae to obviously uss k peeche kuch aise halaat honge... larai jhagre wagera
wot do u think k iss ka bachon pe kya asar hota hoga
????
talak ya khula se zyada woh halaat bure hote hein jo aisa kadam uthane pe majboor karte hein





lemme add one more thing
hamare han aurat ko kuch aisi situation ka bachpan se aadi bana diya jaata hai k.... kuch galiyan,, 4/5 thapar dont mean anything
i cant understand y a women need to go to hospital atleast once or twice to decide k usse ab iss shaks k saath nahi rehna
Posted 03 Sep 2006

javad says
SALL
bilkul theek kaha aurat ka jo mukaam hai as a MAA wo mard ka nahi aur uska ki waja bhi obvious hai k maa hi ziada takleef bardasht karti hai...

MARD sahi say ye right isstamaal karty hain k nahi.. bhai koi bhi perfect nahi hota. Aurat jo k aik hamary masrhy ki mazloom hasti hai Ziada tar ispar zulm hota hai kabhi to aurat hi aurat par zulm karti hai aaur aik chez note karo to ziada tar jo aurat par zulam hota hai wo kisi na kisi aurat ki waja say hi hota hai..

Devorc ka step koi bhi mard easyly nahi leta.
Han aurat par tourchr hota hai aur ye physical aur mentaly dono tarahn hota hai. aur esay mardoo ko to jo bilawaja apni biwi par hath uthaye aur apnay aap par mard honay ka fakhar kary issay zinda jala dena chahye.


Han maa baap ki larai ka bhi bachon par bura asar parta hai.. magar just imagin tumhry mom dad larai hoti iss wqt tumpr kia asar hota...?
aur agar yehi larai talak tak pohanch jati to iskaa asar bohat ziada hota uss larai say..

Islam main bhi ghar jornay ki he baat hoi hai jahan tak mumkin ho talak say bacha jaye.

salll agar maa baap k hakook main tum parho to u wil find that k
AGAR MAA BAAP APNAY BETAY KO KAHENY K APNI BIWI KO CHOR DO TO USAY CHOR DENI CHAHYE KION K USKAY MAA BAAP KA USPAR ZIADA HAQQ HAI.

Ye jo bhi horha hai aur humray gharon ki badhali hai wo sirf isslye k hum nay har aik ko utni respect nahi di jitni deni chahye..we should respect our relations.

Posted 04 Sep 2006

javad says
sall i agree with you
CHOLHA JAB BHI PHATA HAI TO BAHO HI KO JALATA HAI...

Yar Mard aurat ko talak ki dhamkian detay hain. thts ture. magar mainy bhi esi aurten dekhi hain jo khud talak mangti hain aur jabkay baat inti bari bhi nahi hoti.

aurat jabtak maa nahi banti itni kamzoor nahi hoti k mard k zulam sahy..
affsos say kahonga k iss mard k mashry main mardangi nahi darandgi hoti hai


kher main topic say hattt gaya..

Sallll sabkay apnay views hain but i wish k Jab main Shohar.. baap bano to apnay sab relation achay say nibhaon..
larai iz part of life butt devorce say bachna chahye.
do pray for me.

Posted 04 Sep 2006

kiran says
Is dunya main ache bure donon tarahe ke Mard rehte hain aur Aurtain bhi achi buri donon tarah ki rehti hain. Leekin yeh ghalat hai ke app kisi ko dhekh ker yeh keh dain ke usne talak ka right ghalat use kiya hai app kisi ke ander ke halat jaan nahin sakte.

Zaher jahan ache log hote hain wahan bure bhi hote hain. Ager kuch Mard Talaq ka ghalat faida uthate hain to kuch boohat bardasht bhi kerte hain appni biwi ki ghalat batoon ko aur ajj kal to donon hi eik tarah ho gae hain abb koi aurat mazloom nahin hai. kjunke abb islami tareeke se rehni wali aurtain boohat kam reh gai hain.

Is liye hum bas appni raye de sakte hain aur kuch nahin.
Posted 04 Sep 2006

sun_shine says
danie said:

I have heard that in muslims it's enough to say talak by husband 3 times to get divorce.Is it true?

Wives also can get divorce by this way or not ?
Plz somebody reply me.




Can a woman also divorce, or can she give ‘Talaq’? A woman cannot give ‘Talaq’ - because ‘Talaq’ is a Arabic word used for divorce, when a man gives to a woman - husband gives to a wife - but a woman can divorce. There are 5 types of divorce, in Islam - The first type is by unilateral… by unilateral agreement, between the husband and wife - Both may say… ‘Okay, we are not compatible… let us part’. The second type, is by the unilateral will of the husband, that is called a ‘Talaq’, in which, he has to forgo his ‘Meher’. If he has not paid it, he has to pay it to her… and including the gifts, he has given to her. Third type, is by the unilateral will of the wife - I repeat, by the unilateral will of the wife… if she mentions it in her marriage contract. If she mentions it in her Nikah-Nama… in her marriage contract, that she has the right to give unilateral divorce, she can give it - It is call as ‘Isma’. I have never heard of anyone speaking of an ‘Isma’ - It is called as ‘Isma’ - Even a woman can give divorce, ‘Isma’. Third category is, if the husband ill-treats her, or not give her equal rights, she has the right to go to a Kazi, and nullify the marriage - It is called as ‘Nikah-e-Fask’. In this, according to the Kazi, he may ask the husband to give the full ‘Meher’, or part of the ‘Meher’, depending upon the Kazi. And the last is ‘Kulah’- that even though the husband may be a very good husband, the wife has got no complaints against the husband, but for personal reasons, she does not like the husband - she has… she can request the husband, to divorce her - and that is called as ‘Kulah’. But very few people talk about women giving divorce, to the men. Some of the Ulemas have categorized these 5 types of divorce, into 2 or 3 different categories, but broadly there are 5 types of divorce in Islam.
Posted 04 Oct 2006

nikama says
great job sun-shine
ALLAH kabhi na insafi nahin kerta us ne ager mard ko haq dia he k vo kuch reasons ki buniad per aurat ko talaq de sakta he to yehi haq aurat ko bhi hasil he.
but sadly our ignorance has led us to become a male fachist society where women are oppressed in the name of religion and GOD.some posts in this topic also reflect our macho mentality.
Posted 05 Oct 2006

kiran says
very good information sun shine but humari society main isse manta kaun hai
Posted 11 Oct 2006

sun_shine says
accept karna ya na karna hum pe munhasir hain kyunkay yeh society hamari hain hum ne hi banaye hain.
logo main awearness ki zaroorat hain.woh ISLAM ko abhi tak sahi tarah se nahi samajh sakay hain.kyunkay dunya main kisi mazhab ne aurton ko itnay rights nahi diye jitnay rights ISLAM ne diye hain.
Posted 13 Oct 2006

mmja says
daykhayn orat ko direct talak ka haq is liay nahin deyia kyionkay marid kay pass talak kay bad bhe boht option hai lakin orat ko boht mushkil hoti hai hamaray masharayh main
or han mard bhe dircet talak nahin day sakta islaam main proper tarika yeh hai kay woh har month srif aik talak day 3 talakay 3 month main takay talak jald bazi ka nateja na ho is saray arsay main insaan ache tarahn soch lay
orton kay boht rites hain par hamaray mashray nay daba diyan hain
Posted 13 Oct 2006

sun_shine says
jee you are right.
Posted 14 Oct 2006

mmja says
thk
Posted 14 Oct 2006

mmja says
oor khula ka haq to hai he khaton kay pass takay wohsoch samgh kay faisla lay sakay ab ager hamara nizam nahin theek nahin hai to kyia keyia ja sakta hai
Posted 14 Oct 2006

Ashii says
rights and laws do exist
but our pb is

how to implement these laws
oo well,, does anyone really want these laws/rights to b implementd ?
Posted 14 Oct 2006

mmja says
iska jawab to girls zeyiada acha day sakte hain
inka to pata nahin barhal govr jo laws ajkal lago karna cha rahe hai us say to uper wala bachaye usa kay kehnay pay is had tak tubha meri tubah
Posted 14 Oct 2006

Ashii says
yeh gvt USA k kehne pe konse laws pass karwana chah rahi hai
hum ko bhi to koi batae
harr koi tauba tauba karta nazar aata hai,, asli baat batata hi nahi koi
Posted 14 Oct 2006

mmja says
khuwateen kay rites pay ultay sidhay qanon bana rahay hain
baligh girl ke age 18 ke bajaye 16
takay ajkal jo pasend ke shadtyian tv pay boht dikhaye jate hain woh zeyiada parwaan chadray
sikay alawah bhe khuwateen kay rites kay naam pay esay qanoon bana rahay hain jo usa ya europ main to theek hain lakin islam kay nukta nazar say theek nahin hain
Posted 14 Oct 2006

Ashii says
hmmm.... 18 ki bajae 16
its not that bad,, pak mei bohot si larkiyon ki shadi 18 se pehle hoti hai, woh bhi parents ki marzi se

pasand ki shadi mei kya pb hai ??
acha hai do joote parein to sab theek ho ja'ain

jahan tak tv ki baat hai to aap apne bachon ko tv na dekhne do
khud parents Z aur sony dekhte hein,, bachon ko kaise mana karein ge




"ulte seedhe kanoon"
"women rights k naam pe kanoon"
arey konse kanoon, yeh bhi to batao naaaaaaaa
Posted 14 Oct 2006

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