Can a Guy Be Too Nice?

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Age: 123
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United Kingdom, United Kingdom
Is it possible for a guy to be too nice? Here are some ways that this could ring true:

#1: He's So Nice, He Can Only Be a Friend
Hey, a good friend is hard to find. What sometimes happens when we get into a relationship? It eventually runs its course and ends, which means awkwardness and/or change in both of you, since you started off as friends. Maybe you can recover and remain buddies, but is it worth the risk if you find that you're really good friends with a nice guy? Also, sometimes the nice guy just has no edge, so he's destined to be just a friend.

#2: He's So Nice, He's Not Challenging Enough
I've recently learned from your comments: Women enjoy the thrill of the chase a bit too much. People like to wonder what's going to happen, that nerve-racking first few months when the "training wheels" are still on the relationship. And, no matter how much we try to deny it, we do like that we've won someone over instead of just having them give themselves up to us. If a guy is too easy, he may be ruining his chances.

#3: He's So Nice, He'll Always Be There
I've seen some friends take their time with a nice guy. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Maybe a woman wants to meet some new guys and "sow her wild oats" while the nice guy fawns over her. She enjoys keeping him in her life as a friend, but somewhere in the back of her mind she knows that she can probably return to him later. Again, it's all about risk management: If you want to take the risk of him meeting someone else, then go for it.

#4: He's TOO Nice, You Can't Trust Him
Sometimes people are so nice that it seems like they might have sinister overtones. I always see it on Lifetime movies: The guy comes into the woman's life and he is just perfect. Then he slowly disintegrates into a psycho freak. Perhaps a guy can come off as so nice in the beginning that he appears to be covering up for something bad. A woman might avoid a relationship with him if something just doesn't feel right. What makes a guy too nice or "friend" material instead of dating material? Do you avoid getting into relationships with a guy who's too nice, or is he destined to be a "friend"?
Posted 30 May 2009

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