YO MOMMA! *no offence to anibodi’s momma!

-Yo Momma so old when she saw Jurassic park it brought back memories


-Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.


-Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number


-Yo momma so old her social security number is 1


-Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'


-Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.


-Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks


-Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook


-Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.


-Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.


-Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.


-Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.


-Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.


-Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.


-Yo momma so old when she reads the bible she reminisces


-Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.


-Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".


-Yo momma so old she was Jesus Wet Nurse


-Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang


-Yo momma so old even God calls her mother


-Yo momma's so fat that when she goes swimming she has to watch out for torpedoes


-Yo momma so fat that she broke a branch on the family tree


-yo mama's so fat she was standing on a street corner and a cop ran up and told her to break it up.


-Yo mamma so fat she jumped in the ocean and the whales started signing "We are Family"


-Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up


-Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"


-Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.


-Yo momma so fat we're in her right now


-Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise


-Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone


-Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors


-Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...


-Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world


-Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling "Free Willy"


-Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop


-Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions


-Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay"


-Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi"


-Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized


-Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway


-Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her


-Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller


-Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets


-Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th


-Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too


-Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"


-Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE


-Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"


-Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.


-Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.


-Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.


-Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs


-Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code


-Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon


-Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved


-Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her


-Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in


-Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...


-Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.


-Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction


-Yo momma so fat her legs are like spoiled milk - white chunky


-Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side


-Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections


-Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER


-Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.


-Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball


-Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun


-Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell


-Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck


-Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book


-Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views


-Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family


-Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil


-Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon


-Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in


-Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips


-Yo momma so fatHer belly button's got an echo.


-Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks


-Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand


-Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper


-Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.


-Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out


-Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights


-Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car


-Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out


-Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans


-Yo momma so fat her blood type is ragu


-Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.


-Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping


-Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.


-Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.


-Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.


-Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.


-Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.


-Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.