ENJOY!!

*) Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!

*) Sign on a famous beauty parlour window: Don't whistle at the girl
going out from here. She may be your Grandmother!!

*) Sign in a bar : "Those .....drinking to forget........ please pay in
advance."

*) Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

*) A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you
wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

*) When I read about the evils of drinking ...I gave
up.............reading.

*) My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses... He drinks
straight out of the bottle.

*) Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone.

*) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe
is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.

*) Seen on a bulletin board: Success is relative. More the success, more
the relatives.

*) Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay : We need your heads to run
our business.

*) A traffic slogan : Don't let your kids drive if they are not old
enough or else they will never be.

*) Seen in railway station at Patna : Aana free, Jaana free, Pakde gaye
to khana free

*) "A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished."