Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else.
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.
Waiter : Would you like your coffee black.
Customer : What other colours do you have?
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
Pupil : Did you know that the most intelligent person is going deaf?
Teacher: Really. Who is it?
Pupil : Pardon.
Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.
Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and Stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.
Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor?
Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died.
Teacher : " Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible."
One of the 20 Students: "Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpaste and put it back into the tube again."
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ? "
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in his hand
