PARENTS B4 Marriage.

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Blue Oasis

Age: 121
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Revised to include the less fairer gender.

      \\// MATURE AUDIANCES ONLY \\//

Pregnant but not married. Mother without a husband. This isn’t a new situation and certainly not one exclusive to the West. The same applies for daddies as well as mummies.

My question is, if this situation happened to your relative or friend, how would you react and WHY? Would you accept and forgive? Or disown and forget? Another reaction?

Posted 19 Feb 2005

Bazigaar says
accept and forgive

this is what i'll do, why? cuz sh*t happens, no one is perfect
Posted 20 Feb 2005

stariz says
maafi toa Allah sa mangni hogi usko jo aysa karte hai, insaan kon hota hai maaf karna wala
Posted 20 Feb 2005

Ashii says
hmmm..

change ur topic's title
PARENTS before marriage
and then wait for comments
Posted 21 Feb 2005

Blue Oasis says
SALL said:

hmmm..

change ur topic's title
PARENTS before marriage
and then wait for comments



lol I didn't realise I was being sexist! Okay sorry lads, didn't mean to discriminate. Of course guys face problems with the situation as well since obviously it takes two
Posted 21 Feb 2005

Xtreme says
relative or friend lol eh get on with it
just dont want it to happen to me .
Posted 21 Feb 2005

Ashii says
jia

well meri opinion sunne ki himmat yahan kissi mei nahi hogi,,, so wait for others opinions
just one thing,, galti insaan se hoti hai aur Allah miyan galti maaf kar dete hein,, par in our society INSAAN means GUYZ
Posted 21 Feb 2005

khansak says
Her Ghalti Ki Saza bi Quran main hai. Woh Bugto. Maaf kenay wali ALLAH ki ZAAT Hai.
Posted 22 Feb 2005

Bazigaar says
SALL said:

jia

well meri opinion sunne ki himmat yahan kissi mei nahi hogi,,,



let's hear u'r opinion...
Posted 22 Feb 2005

Xtreme says
eh net hai yar himmat ke koyee zaroorat nahi sab pardey key peechay hain.
Posted 22 Feb 2005

stariz says
Bazigaar said:

SALL said:

jia

well meri opinion sunne ki himmat yahan kissi mei nahi hogi,,,



let's hear u'r opinion...



me too
come on Sall shoot it
Posted 22 Feb 2005

geetanjali says
SALL said:

jia

well meri opinion sunne ki himmat yahan kissi mei nahi hogi,,, so wait for others opinions
just one thing,, galti insaan se hoti hai aur Allah miyan galti maaf kar dete hein,, par in our society INSAAN means GUYZ


Sall Im eager to know abt ur Opinion........ Tum Yahan Par ye mat socho ki tum jaisi himatwala koi aur nahi. Tumhari jo bhi opinion hai HuM TOLERATE kar lenge. U just explain it dear
Posted 22 Feb 2005

geetanjali says
Jia_ka_chand said:

Revised to include the less fairer gender.

      \\// MATURE AUDIANCES ONLY \\//

Pregnant but not married. Mother without a husband. This isn’t a new situation and certainly not one exclusive to the West. The same applies for daddies as well as mummies.

My question is, if this situation happened to your relative or friend, how would you react and WHY? Would you accept and forgive? Or disown and forget? Another reaction?


Dear Jia I hav faced a situation once in my circle.I didnt hav any other option other than to accept the couple and forget that incident.Watever it is a burning prob of todays society.
Posted 22 Feb 2005

guest. says
ajj kal yeh itna common prob hai k agar kisi k saath na ho tou herani ki baat hai!

anywz..i guess...hamay circumstances dekhnay chahiyen!!
k kin halaat mein kisi say yeh ghalti hui!
agar koi jaan bhoj kar karta hai tou os mein 100% os ka kasoor hai..os ki saza osay ALLAh day ga
hum kaun hotay hein kuch kehnay walay!...bhool jao jo hua!!!...os ki life os ki decision!
likin agar koi accident hota hai tou i guess banday ko support karna chahiye...tah k woh akela na mehsoos karay!
Posted 22 Feb 2005

Blue Oasis says
omg SALL enough with the suspense already, I think everyone is all geared up to be fired up reading your view.

One common point made by most of you is how it's up to God to forgive. Well obviously, but that's usually not the case until after death. To live in this society you need to know where you stand and that means an ultimatum.

But the decision either way brings with it the BIG B (no not Bazigaar) - Bestee, Humiliation, Dishonour etc. (pardon my Roman Urdu spelling)

I've seen that people assume by disowning it lessens the humiliation.
Posted 22 Feb 2005

Blue Oasis says
btw so your decision would be different if it was done on purpose or if it was forced e.g, by rape?

But if a boy and girl (we will name them XY and XX respectively) are in love (or think they are anyway), and they want to get married, but are not mature enough to wait until after marriage to sleep together, and they are also not smart enough to use protection, if that results in pregnancy it is not uhm,,, forgivable?

Yeah yeah I know religiously sex before marriage is haram anyway and God will pass judgement etc. But as humans facing this scenario what would you do, because it depends on you where the couple will stand?

Okay, say if XX is pregnant and for whatever reason XY leaves her, would you accept her without her partner, or wouldn't that matter?
Posted 22 Feb 2005

Ashii says

shissshhhhhhhh penshe

areyy yar,, i had nothing to say tabhi yeh keh diya


""Okay, say if XX is pregnant and for whatever reason XY leaves her, would you accept her without her partner, or wouldn't that matter?""
i already got it jia,, tabhi kuch kaha nahi...
i d discuss here our ppl and not our religion,, coz dono alag alag cheezein hein,,, Islamic society doesnt exist,, rite ?
hamare amaal islam k mutabik nahi hein,,, sab kuch hum apni marzi se karte hein Khuda ki marzi se nahi to phir hum harrr aik masle ka hal islam pe kyun chor dete hein ???

well it s simple,,,, hamare han aise cases hote hein sab ko pata hai k most of guyz leave gals in such situation ??
wot happen to these kids and these galz ???
i dont have any answer to that
but wot happen to these guyz ???
i guess everyone know it --> NOTHING




my personal opinion,,,,
it all depends on situation,,, kya halaat aur kya niyyat..
agar hum mard ki galti ko maaf kar dete hein to aurat ki galti ko kyun nahi,, jab galti dono ki hai to saza bhi dono ko milni chaiye,, yeh Quran kehta hai
par as usual yeh hum log nahi kehte,, coz "quran ki harr woh baat sach hai jo humein faida de",, baki,, ehemmm..





may i change ur question jia ??
""Okay, say if XX is pregnant and for whatever reason XY leaves her""
Q : wot wd u do
1/ if XY is ur brother ?
2/ if XX is ur sister ?
Posted 22 Feb 2005

stariz says
Posted 22 Feb 2005

guest. says
doesnt matter who it is
bro or sis!

jaan bhooj kar ghalti karnay walay bewakoof hotay hein!!
per...ghalti maaf kar deni chahiye!!
agay ALLAH ki merzi woh akhrat mein kia saza deta hai un ko!


hum kisi ko saza or jaza denay k kabil nahin hein!
Posted 23 Feb 2005

Ashii says
at least one person had something to say
thnx kashu
Posted 23 Feb 2005

Blue Oasis says
But why call it a galti Kash hunny? I purposely didn't use the word 'mistake' because what if XY and XX don't see it as a mistake, but an action of love?

What people think is very important in circumstanses like this b/c it's a matter of their kid growing up in sociert without a name.
Posted 23 Feb 2005

Blue Oasis says
geetanjali said:

Jia_ka_chand said:


Dear Jia I hav faced a situation once in my circle.I didnt hav any other option other than to accept the couple and forget that incident.Watever it is a burning prob of todays society.


That's noble of you Geetanjali, I think it takes character to accept the situation when it happens so close to home i.e. one's circle.

But we are the ones who label the situation as a problem or mistake in the first place. Why not let it pass as just something which shouldn't be judged at all?
Posted 23 Feb 2005

srk rocks says
parents b4 marriage it depends wh@ the circumstance are like if the women is raped is it acceptable then????????????
also it shouldnt happen b4 marriage as a man can neva stand around 2 pick up the peices bcoz all men r hypocrits!!!
Posted 23 Feb 2005

SupidGuy says

wat i personally think abt such cases.

abroad ka tu nahi pata
but in pk most of the Men Deny

"yeah mera nahi hai kisi aur ka ho ga"

its Men world.................


Posted 23 Feb 2005

srk rocks said:

parents b4 marriage it depends wh@ the circumstance are like if the women is raped is it acceptable then????????????
also it shouldnt happen b4 marriage as a man can neva stand around 2 pick up the peices bcoz all men r hypocrits!!!

Posted 24 Feb 2005

Posted 24 Feb 2005

Nope, all men are NOT hypocrites - just like all women are NOT bad. There are men and women whose righteous received Allah's testimony. O'course bad apples are on both sides.
Posted 24 Feb 2005

Blue Oasis says
SupidGuy said:


wat i personally think abt such cases.

abroad ka tu nahi pata
but in pk most of the Men Deny

"yeah mera nahi hai kisi aur ka ho ga"

its Men world.................




Smooth Daddy's right, let's not start streotyping men and women. Of course we know that women are better than men but let's not rub in their faces

It's a shame that men in Pakistan get away with making such claims. I suppose the women aren't made aware of the fact that proving the child's father is so easy by medical tests. I doubt any guy would get away with saying "yeah mera nahi hai kisi aur ka ho ga" if the women would say:

"Chalo chalay lab may or doctor say baatha karain."

Aaaah but you see because the girl slept with one guy it's easy for her partner to make that claim in the first place, because if she can sleep with him, why can't she have the nerve to sleep with someone else?
Posted 24 Feb 2005

hold it a sec.

We are trying to cure symptoms here and leave the illness as is.

We have living examples right in front of our noses.
Western societies accepted illicit relationships and births resulting thereof as norm, a mistake - "lets get over it!"

Did it solve the problem? most spouses are cheating, divorce rates are astronomical, teenage pregnancy is on the rise, number of children under poverty are ever higher, single-mothers' problems compounded even further.

BECAUSE, the system does NOT enforce law against ILLICIT relationships, it rather encourages it in the much trumpeted name of modern life-style, freedom, women empowerment. Lawmakers themselves are slaves of their own lustful desires. how could they make and enforce law against themselves.

Bottomline: those who commit the crime by will, both, men and women, should face criminal charges in the court and be sentenced as deemed appropriate by law of Almighty, just like it is observed for other crimes. A crime is a crime and should be treated as such.
Punishment against crimes safegaurd societies from outbreak of corruptions just like vaccines prevent diseases from spreading in the society.

Allah forgives His rights over whoever He wills (we don't know who), He, however will not forgive crime against fellow human until justice is served.
Posted 24 Feb 2005

guest. says
Jia_ka_chand said:

But why call it a galti Kash hunny? I purposely didn't use the word 'mistake' because what if XY and XX don't see it as a mistake, but an action of love?

What people think is very important in circumstanses like this b/c it's a matter of their kid growing up in sociert without a name.



its a mistke sweeto
bcoz..whts rong is rong...
we cant justify it coz the couple r in love!!...if thy r in love thn more the reason not to do any such thng!!
respect eachothers dignity!!!
there is a ryt time 4 evrythng!
Posted 24 Feb 2005

Ashii says
Smooth_daddy said:

Bottomline: those who commit the crime by will, both, men and women, should face criminal charges in the court and be sentenced as deemed appropriate by law of Almighty, just like it is observed for other crimes. A crime is a crime and should be treated as such.


agreee
and kashu s rite too

yarrr,, "kya hona chaiye everyone know it"
par question sirfff yeh hai k "wot wd u do"
if (Allah na kare) u have to face such pb

Posted 24 Feb 2005

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