heer_sial
Age: 124
6797 days old here
Total Posts: 7
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Ik zara si ranjesh say
Shak ki zard tehni pay phool badgumani kay
Is tara say khiltay hain
Zindagi say payaray bhi ajnabi say lagtay hain
Ghair ban kay miltay hain
Dost dar lehjhon main silwatain si parti hain
Umer bhar ki chahat ka kuch sila nahi milta
Dashtay beyakeni main asra nahi milta
Phool rang wadon ki manzelain sukarti hain
Rah murnay lagti hay, berukhi kay garay say, bedili ki miti say
Faslon ki inton say int jurnay lagti hay
Khak urnay lagti hay’ wahmon kay saiy say umer bhar ki mehnat ko
Pal main tor jatay hain
Bhear main zamanay ki sath chor jatay hain
Ik zara si ranjesh say
Hath chut jatay hain
Khuwab tut jatay hain.
heer_sial
Age: 124
6797 days old here
Total Posts: 7
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Teraa khyaal b0hat der tak nhin rehta
K0yee mlaal b0hat der tak nhin rehtaa
Udaas kertee hai aksar tumharee yaad mujhay
Magar yeh haal b0hat der tak nhin rehtaa
Main raiza raiza t0 h0taa h00n her shikast kay baad
Magar nidhaal b0hat der tak nhin rehta
Jwaab mill he t0 jata hai,,,aik chup he na h0
K0yee swaal b0hat der tak nhin rehtaa
Main jaanta h00n kay s00raj h00n,,,D0ub ja00n bhi
Mujhay zwaal b0hat der tak nhin rehta
heer_sial
Age: 124
6797 days old here
Total Posts: 7
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Mujhay__tujh__sAy__M0HABBAT__hAi)
Mujhay tujh say M0HABBAT hai
M0HABBAT bhi kuch aisee
j0 kisi sehra k0 baarish say
Kay barish jiss qadar bhi t00tt kar brsay
Zraa pal bhr k0 pyaasee ret kay lab bheeg jaatay hain
Magar!!!Bus ek zraa pl bhr......
Mujhay tujh say M0HABBAT hai
M0HABBAT bhi kuch aisee,,,
J0 prind0n k0 fizaa0n say
Gul0n k0 khushb00an say
Mnzr0n k0 lehlahatay mausam0n say
Jiss men,,,ch00nay,,jazb krnay,,,Aur glay mill kay hmesha
Muskuraanay kay liey
Dil!!!chaaht0n aur khwahish0n kee
Sab hd0n k0 paar kr jaey
Mujhay khud say M0HABBAT hai
Magar itnee nhin,,,Jitnee
Tujh say teray s0dayee k0 hai
W0h apnay raat aur din
Dh00p,,,chaa0an...sahl0n,,,driya k0 taar0n k0
Faqat ek teray nuqtay men smaittay
Aur teree chaaht0n men aankh say,,,
Dil aur R00h say wajdaan kee
Her kafiyyat men
R0ta,,,ubhrta,,muskuraata
Zaat aur mar00z kay hwaal0n say
Kbhi ka kutt chuka hai
new_beau
Age: 123
7545 days old here
Total Posts: 10168
Points: 0
Location:
United Arab Emirates, United Arab Emirates
ROOSHANAASI...I think its wrong Word here..ROO means CHEHRA...aur ZAAT ka chehra nahin kaha ja sakta ...Try to change this misrah...
Buzurg-o-Bertar ..ko MERDAM SHANAASI kay paimaanay say Samajhna chahtay hainn aap...MERDAM shanaasi insaan ko Parakhnay kay liyey hoti hay..Yeh aap BUZERG-O-BERTER kis keh rahay hainn..EXPLAINN
These shairs are very good
NIKLAY jo NIKLAINN say change ker lainn..I think..
AASII...means Gunehgaar...aur yeh ALIF say nahin AIN say hota hay...AIN ALIF SUAD YEH..
Change it,..and Reconsider this Shair...Iss mainn Kuchh Ziyaada JAAN nahin hay abhi...Agar AAP NAY ALIF say likha hay aur uss ka koi aur matlab hay tou sorry...but pls explain..
Very Good And Meaning Ful...