Joke of the Day

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~tasha~

Age: 124
Total Posts: 47628
Points: 0

Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
A man walks into a barber shop and asks; "how much for a hair cut?" The barber said $12.50. The man asks; "and how much for a shave?" The barber said $1.50. The man then says SHAVE IT ALL.
Posted 24 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor?

Needless to say he never made it. You know why?

These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.

Antibody - against everyone
Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.
Caesarean section - a district in Rome.
Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.
Chronic - neck of a crow.
Coma - punctuation mark.
Cortisone - area around local court.
Cyst - short for sister.
Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.
Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.
Dislocation - in this place.
Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.
Enema - not a friend.
Fake labour - pretending to work.
Genes - blue denim.
Hernia - she is close by.
Impotent - distinguished/well known.
Labour pain - hurt at work.
Lactose - people without toes.
Lymph - walk unsteadily.
Microbes - small dressing gown.
Obesity - city of Obe.
Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.
Proteins - in favor of teens.
Pulse - grain.
Pus - small cat.
Red blood count - Dracula.
Secretion - hiding anything.
Tablet - small table.
Ultrasound - radical noise.


Posted 24 Jul 2007

eshajam says
~tasha~ said:

A man walks into a barber shop and asks; "how much for a hair cut?" The barber said $12.50. The man asks; "and how much for a shave?" The barber said $1.50. The man then says SHAVE IT ALL.



Posted 24 Jul 2007

new_beau says
Posted 24 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
eshajam said:

~tasha~ said:

A man walks into a barber shop and asks; "how much for a hair cut?" The barber said $12.50. The man asks; "and how much for a shave?" The barber said $1.50. The man then says SHAVE IT ALL.





Posted 24 Jul 2007

Mujrim says
gud1's tashu jeee
Posted 25 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
thx jee
Posted 25 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the
head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,
if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an
empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked
the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
Posted 26 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it
was very hard work.

His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that
garden, that's where I buried the Money!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire
garden, without finding any money.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened,
and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do
from here."
Posted 26 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the
instructor held up an apple and a candy bar. "What are the attributes of this
apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our diet?"

"Low in calories" and "lots of fiber" were among the answers. She then detailed
what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, "Apples are not only more
healthful but also less expensive. Do you know I paid 75 cents for this candy
bar?" We stared as she held aloft the forbidden treat.

From the back of the room a small voice spoke up, "I'll give you a dollar for
it."
Posted 26 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
Two guys in a car drive right through a red light.

"Man, you just ran that red light!" exclaimed the passenger.

"Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," said the driver.

They continue driving through town and then proceed to drive through another
stop light.

"You just ran another stop light! You're going to get us killed!" screamed the
nervous passenger.

"Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," repeated the driver.

Moments later, they approached a green light and they came to a halting stop.

"Why are you stopping?" asked the anxious passenger.

The driver turned and said, "Because my brother might be coming!"
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
~tasha~ said:

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the
head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However,
if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an
empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.

"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked
the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"



ha,ha,haaaaaaa
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
~tasha~ said:

Two guys in a car drive right through a red light.

"Man, you just ran that red light!" exclaimed the passenger.

"Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," said the driver.

They continue driving through town and then proceed to drive through another
stop light.

"You just ran another stop light! You're going to get us killed!" screamed the
nervous passenger.

"Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," repeated the driver.

Moments later, they approached a green light and they came to a halting stop.

"Why are you stopping?" asked the anxious passenger.

The driver turned and said, "Because my brother might be coming!"


he,he,heha,ha,haaaa
Posted 26 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 26 Jul 2007

Mujrim says
Posted 27 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 27 Jul 2007

Mujrim says
tashu ur so sweet
Posted 27 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
thx jee, i know i am
Posted 27 Jul 2007

Mujrim says
yea cm here tashu
gonna miss ya
Posted 27 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
coming.......
Posted 27 Jul 2007

Mujrim says
criusly gonna miss JB nits members
Posted 27 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
we'll gonna miss u too
Posted 27 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
KING OF JB said:

wht abt me



u r always here
Posted 29 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one
really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a
while and said,
"my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the
correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It `s the
DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked,

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND
difficult question!"

He was selected for IIM!
Posted 30 Jul 2007

eshajam says
One day a Sardar goes to a party.

There he introduces him and says that:-
I am Sardar.
She is my Sardarni.
He is my Kid and she is my kidney
Posted 30 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 30 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.

I wrote your name in air,it was blown away.then

I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack .

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .

He saw me in dark, he created light .

He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Twinkle Twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TEACHER== Name four members of the cat family?

STUDENTS== Daddy cat,Mummy cat and two kittens !

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Police man== Stop, stop, your headlights are not working.

The Man== Move, move, even the brakes are not working.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Why does history keep repeating it self?

Because we weren't listening the first time !

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...

still he was in jail.......why?

coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

An Astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.

A sardar was observing him, Suddenly a star falls, seeings

that sardar shouted "kya nishana hai"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the

violin after the operation?"

"yes of course...."

"Great ! i never could before"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful why dosen't it rain on you?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Roses are red, Violents are blue monkeys

like u should be kept in zoo.

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

not in cage but laughing at you.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When ur life is in darkness pray to God ask him to

free u from darkness and if after you pray and your

still in darkness, please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL !

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Posted 31 Jul 2007

eshajam says
..ha,haaa,ha.good jokes..ha,ha
Posted 31 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Why a man is standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. Because his doctor advised him "Today `s dinner should be light"

======================================================
A man told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It `s already raining.
man: So what take an Umberlla and go.

=======================================================
a man visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
the man goes 2 China 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is `U R STANDNG ON the Oxygen Tube"

=======================================================
A man was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked, what are you doing? He Said, I am trying to see how i Look while sleeping.





Posted 31 Jul 2007

eshajam says
        E-mail Id Of Bollywood Stars


AbhishekBacchan: [email protected]

AmitabhBacchan: [email protected]

AnilKapoor: [email protected]

SalmanKhan: [email protected]

ShahRukhKhan: [email protected]

RamGopalVarma: [email protected]

SunilShetty: [email protected]

AamirKhan: [email protected]

AamirKhan(alternateaddress): [email protected]

SaifAliKhan: [email protected]

HritikRoshan: [email protected]

HritikRoshan(alternateaddress): [email protected]

AjayDevgan: [email protected]

BobbyDeol: [email protected]

Sunny Deol: He is still busy fighting Pakistani soldiers. Mail address is a secret.

Urmila: [email protected]

MallikaSherawat: [email protected]

AmishaPatel: [email protected]

KareenaKapoor: [email protected]

Raveena Tandon: [email protected]

Posted 31 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
v nice collection

Posted 31 Jul 2007

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