Friend,
>
> When you are sad...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the ******* who made you sad.
>
> When you are blue...I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
>
> When you smile...I'll know you finally got some.
>
> When you are scared...I will tease you about it every chance I get.
>
> When you are worried...I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse > it could be and to quit whining.
>
> When you are confused...I will use little words to explain it to your dumb> ass.
>
> When you are sick...stay away from me until you're well again. I
don't want what you've got.
>
> When you fall...I will try to keep from laughing.
>
> This is my oath, I pledge 'til the end. Why you ask? > Because you're my friend.
>
>
Always remember:
>
> A friend will help you move.
>
> A really good friend will help you move a body.