Alrite peeps, just wanted to say, that agreeing with your parents and putting them first, not before prophet(saw) or Allah, is what every person should do, cos they brought us in this life and made us what we are. Also Arrange marriages arent as bad as some people
make it sound.
Arrange just means that it is sorted out by parents in the sense that if you see someone you like you can tell your parents i like so and so , and tell them to find out about the family for you, if you are willing to get married though.
It doesnt mean that you parents decide and thats it. If you dont like them then fine look for the next one, and the next untill you find one you like. And if you want you can get to know them more personaly as long as some relative is sitting with you, even at a distance so they cant hear you as long as they can see you,cos as shuja said the if its only two then the third is the shaitan and he causes desires in the heart.
So when we say arrange dont automaticaly look down on it, and you will also find that they are more robust than love marriages, the reason being firstly because you have followed sunnat.Secondly when you get married you spend the first few years getting to know each other and loving each other, where ad love marriage is usualy you have done evrything before marriage so when you marry you usualy just argu and have nothing else to do.
It very goo to please your parents, but you have to make sure you are also happy, what ever happens in the future is upto Allah, but at the time you have to want to marry person, not be forced, because like Nadz said we have to bring our own children in Islam, so we have to have a solid family love and connection, that can only be done if you love each other, if you are unhappy, then its likely you stay like that through your whole life and have no motivation.
Shuja mashallah you are very knowledgable for your age, but i think you will realise as time goes on things which we know we are not allowed to do when we are young, become harder not to do as you get older and hormones and adult development kicks in. Inshallah Allah will steer you away from any problems, but nowadays its a real test, especialy in this sort of society that we live in.I remember when i was young i was strict about these things and said i would never ever do certain things, but i guess shaitan would get better of me sometimes. We all make mistakes, its leaning from them that is the important thing.
May Allah keep you all on the siratul mustakeen.
Posted on 10/12/2003 5:41:57 AM
