Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted : $10. Teacher : You don't know maths. Ted : You don't know my father!
Mother : David, come here. David : Yes, mum? Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow. Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test? Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8 Father : So? Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. Son : If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
A mother and daughter were doing dishes while the father and son were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The son turned to look at his father.
Son : It's mummy! Father : How do you know? Son : She didn't say anything.
Old lady : Doctor, I've got a pain in my left leg. Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age. Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.
Two men were facing each other on the train. First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word. Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7321 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Monkey In The Plane
Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive. Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions. The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.
Officer: "When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?" Monkey: "Tying their belts" Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?" Monkey: "Saying Hello! Good morning!" Officer: "What were the pilots doing?" Monkey: "Checking the system" Officer: "What were you doing?" Monkey: "Looking for my people"
Officer: "After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?" Monkey: "Having beverages and snacks" Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?" Monkey: "Serving the travelers" Officer: "What were the Pilots doing?" Monkey: "Handling the steering" Officer: "What were you doing?" Monkey: "Eating & throwing"
Officer: "After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?" Monkey: "Some were sleeping and some were reading" Officer: "What were the air hostesses doing?" Monkey: "Make up" Officer: "What were the pilots doing?" Monkey: "Handling the steering" Officer: "What were you doing?" Monkey: "Nothing"
Officer: "Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?" Monkey: "All were sleeping" Officer: "What were the pilots doing?" Monkey: "Handling the air hostess" Officer: What were you doing? Monkey: Handling the steering!!!! !
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7321 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Lalu spoke in love, "Why don't you and I go to some place where there is nobody." Pyari flirted, "You won't make any mischief with me there, would you?"
Lalu assured in fright, "Not at all" Pyari angered, "Then why the hell you want to go to there?"
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7321 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Parent style
After 48 years of marriage, an elderly Gujrati man in Bombay calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of misery is enough!"
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!"
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, I'll take care of this."
She calls Bombay immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??" and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!"
